V98ci
05-15-2003, 12:09 AM
Metric System Conversion Hints for Americans
1 nanosecond = the time between when you tell a child "no" and when
he/she does it again
1 Milli-second = time elapsed after the recorded audio track plays and
before the singers move their lips at a "live" concert
467 grams = what 2 grams of Haagen-Dazs will register on your bathroom
scale
1 centimeter = the distance Joan Rivers' eyebrows move up each year
1 Molson = 2 Budweisers
1.5 meters = the circumference around Anna Nicole's chest -- or her
waist
1 femtosecond = the time it takes a feminist to react to being called a
"gal at the office"
28 grams = start flushing if there's a loud knock on the door
1 kilogram = the mass of the contents of your underpants the minute we
go to terror threat condition red
14 Renaults = 1 Chevy Silverado
10,000 milligrams = the amount of sodium pentothal required to fell a
rampaging Limbaugh
1 tonne = 1 regular ton + 16 kilograms of European attitude
1 liter = amount of gasoline purchased with a single unemployment check
600 meters = the distance between any two Starbucks franchises
1 hookernight = 1 kilodollar
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1 nanosecond = the time between when you tell a child "no" and when
he/she does it again
1 Milli-second = time elapsed after the recorded audio track plays and
before the singers move their lips at a "live" concert
467 grams = what 2 grams of Haagen-Dazs will register on your bathroom
scale
1 centimeter = the distance Joan Rivers' eyebrows move up each year
1 Molson = 2 Budweisers
1.5 meters = the circumference around Anna Nicole's chest -- or her
waist
1 femtosecond = the time it takes a feminist to react to being called a
"gal at the office"
28 grams = start flushing if there's a loud knock on the door
1 kilogram = the mass of the contents of your underpants the minute we
go to terror threat condition red
14 Renaults = 1 Chevy Silverado
10,000 milligrams = the amount of sodium pentothal required to fell a
rampaging Limbaugh
1 tonne = 1 regular ton + 16 kilograms of European attitude
1 liter = amount of gasoline purchased with a single unemployment check
600 meters = the distance between any two Starbucks franchises
1 hookernight = 1 kilodollar
**********************************************