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ME BIGGD01
08-26-2003, 04:17 PM
An unemployed man is desperate to support his family
of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's
job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude
test.

The human resources manager tells him, "You will be
hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. Let me have
your e-mail address so that we can get you in the
loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the
forms and advise you when to start and where to report
on your first day."

Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has
neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the
manager replies, "You must understand that to a
company like ours that means that you virtually do not
exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect
to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and
having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers'
market and sees a stand selling 25lb crates of
beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to
a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than
2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100%
profit.
Repeating the process several times more that day, he
ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night
with several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato
business the next day. By the end of the week he is
getting up early every day and working into the night.
He multiplies his profits quickly.
Early in the second week he acquires a cart to
transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but
before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a
broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two
sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him
with the tomato business, his wife is buying the
tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at
the community college so she can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice
used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed
people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work
hard.

Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a
fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse that his wife
supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys
manage.
The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of
homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter
reports that the business grossed a million dollars.

Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life
insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he
picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances.
Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in
order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess
with a computer and has no e-mail address, the
insurance man is stunned, "What, you don't have
e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you
would be today if you'd had all of that five years
ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years
ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making
$5.15 an hour."

Which brings us to the moral:

Since you got this story by e-mail, you're probably
closer to being a janitor than a millionaire.

Sadly, I received it also.

OUTLAWS Jag
08-26-2003, 04:25 PM
:bandhead: :bawling: Looks like I will never be rich

Pure_Evil
08-26-2003, 04:29 PM
:blink:

:thumbs: :drink: :rofl: :w00t:

Nice one

OUTLAWS The Machine
08-26-2003, 04:36 PM
:online2long: :lol:

SoulReaver
08-26-2003, 04:38 PM
:bawling: :bandhead: :bandhead:



:rofl: :lol:

Nick
08-26-2003, 05:43 PM
g1.... :lol:



This little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink. He's been sitting there for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying.
"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was left in the cab. At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I came to this bar and was intent on putting an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison."

SoulReaver
08-26-2003, 06:16 PM
Originally posted by Nick@Aug 26 2003, 01:43 PM
g1.... :lol:



This little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink. He's been sitting there for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying.
"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was left in the cab. At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I came to this bar and was intent on putting an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison."
:rofl: :rofl: :lol:

PJ'l_Master
08-26-2003, 06:29 PM
Originally posted by Nick@Aug 26 2003, 05:43 PM
g1.... :lol:



This little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink. He's been sitting there for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying.
"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was left in the cab. At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I came to this bar and was intent on putting an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison."
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:

Grimmy
08-26-2003, 06:31 PM
:rofl: :rofl:

Sauron
08-26-2003, 06:34 PM
:rofl: :rofl:

Strifer
08-26-2003, 06:52 PM
1 So true :P :P
2 So unlucky :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

BTW: I'm like spamming. I mean IT IS my second post this day (and in the past few months). :P :rolleyes:

OUTLAWS Tip
08-26-2003, 07:32 PM
1: Depending on when he started at Microsoft. That janitor might have ended up with more money by cashing in on stock options.

:P

solid snake295
08-26-2003, 08:26 PM
i like tomatoes :happy:

Gun Element
08-27-2003, 12:53 AM
Both are great stories/ jokes whatever.


:thumbs: :thumbs:

PJ'l_Master
08-27-2003, 01:07 AM
Originally posted by OUTLAWS Tip@Aug 26 2003, 07:32 PM
1: Depending on when he started at Microsoft. That janitor might have ended up with more money by cashing in on stock options.

:P
alright why did you have to go analyze the joke to take the humor right thr truck out of it...huh...huh! :bandhead:




























j/k TIP

EXEcution
08-27-2003, 02:56 AM
Originally posted by PJ&#39;l_Master+Aug 26 2003, 09:07 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (PJ&#39;l_Master @ Aug 26 2003, 09:07 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--OUTLAWS Tip@Aug 26 2003, 07:32 PM
1: Depending on when he started at Microsoft. That janitor might have ended up with more money by cashing in on stock options.

:P
alright why did you have to go analyze the joke to take the humor right thr truck out of it...huh...huh&#33; :bandhead:




























j/k TIP [/b][/quote]
Actually he cleverly added on to the humor&#33; :thumbs:

Slice
08-27-2003, 03:09 AM
Good ones&#33; :thumbs:

Thundarr
08-27-2003, 03:38 AM
:rofl: :w00t:

PJ'l_Master
08-27-2003, 10:49 AM
Originally posted by XtremeGamer+Aug 27 2003, 02:56 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (XtremeGamer @ Aug 27 2003, 02:56 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Originally posted by -PJ&#39;l_Master@Aug 26 2003, 09:07 PM
<!--QuoteBegin--OUTLAWS Tip@Aug 26 2003, 07:32 PM
1: Depending on when he started at Microsoft. That janitor might have ended up with more money by cashing in on stock options.

:P
alright why did you have to go analyze the joke to take the humor right thr truck out of it...huh...huh&#33; :bandhead:




























j/k TIP
Actually he cleverly added on to the humor&#33; :thumbs: [/b][/quote]
(whiny) SHUT UP&#33; :bawling:

EXEcution
08-27-2003, 03:51 PM
Originally posted by PJ&#39;l_Master+Aug 27 2003, 06:49 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (PJ&#39;l_Master @ Aug 27 2003, 06:49 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Originally posted by -XtremeGamer@Aug 27 2003, 02:56 AM

Originally posted by -PJ&#39;l_Master@Aug 26 2003, 09:07 PM
<!--QuoteBegin--OUTLAWS Tip@Aug 26 2003, 07:32 PM
1: Depending on when he started at Microsoft. That janitor might have ended up with more money by cashing in on stock options.

:P
alright why did you have to go analyze the joke to take the humor right thr truck out of it...huh...huh&#33; :bandhead:




























j/k TIP
Actually he cleverly added on to the humor&#33; :thumbs:
(whiny) SHUT UP&#33; :bawling: [/b][/quote]
:baby:

PJ'l_Master
08-27-2003, 06:31 PM
Originally posted by XtremeGamer+Aug 27 2003, 03:51 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (XtremeGamer @ Aug 27 2003, 03:51 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Originally posted by -PJ&#39;l_Master@Aug 27 2003, 06:49 AM

Originally posted by -XtremeGamer@Aug 27 2003, 02:56 AM

Originally posted by -PJ&#39;l_Master@Aug 26 2003, 09:07 PM
<!--QuoteBegin--OUTLAWS Tip@Aug 26 2003, 07:32 PM
1: Depending on when he started at Microsoft. That janitor might have ended up with more money by cashing in on stock options.

:P
alright why did you have to go analyze the joke to take the humor right thr truck out of it...huh...huh&#33; :bandhead:




























j/k TIP
Actually he cleverly added on to the humor&#33; :thumbs:
(whiny) SHUT UP&#33; :bawling:
:baby: [/b][/quote]
I say again (whiny) SHUT UP&#33; :bawling: