OUTLAWS CHICO
11-28-2003, 05:14 PM
A man walks into his doctor's office and sits down in the
waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, a
casual acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him.
The newcomer asks "W-w what are y-y-y you d-d-d doing here?"
The man replies, " I am waiting to see the doctor."
"W-w-w-hy d-d-do y-y-y you w-want to s-s-s- see h-him?"
The man replies, "Well, if you must know, I have a prostate
problem.
"A p-p prostate p-p-p problem, w-what's t-t-that?"
"Well, if you must know. I pee like you talk."
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Sven & Ole, a couple of Norwegians now living in
Minnesota, head for the fair in Duluth. The first
thing to catch Sven's eye is the big double Ferris
wheel.
"Oh, Ole," he says, "vould you look at dat. I've
always vanted to go on von of dose big Ferris veels.
Let's go ride on dat von."
Ole, not being near as adventurous as Sven says, "Oh,
I don't tink so. Dat looks kind of dangerous to me."
"Vell," says Sven, "you give me yust von good reason
vhy you von't go vit me on dat ride."
Ole couldn't come up with a good reason so up they went.
Ole had to admit after the ride that it was kind of fun.
After another 10 or 15 minutes they came to the roller
coaster.
"Oh Ole," says Sven, "Vould you look at dat. Dat's von
fine looking roller coaster. I tink ve should go for a
ride on dat."
"Oh, I don't tink so." says Ole. "Dat looks very
dangerous to me."
"Vell," says Sven. "You give me yust von good reason vhy
you von't go vit me on dat roller coaster."
Again Ole couldn't come up with a good reason so they
both went up on the roller coaster. Ole had to admit
after the ride that it wasn't so bad.
After another 10 minutes or so, they came to the bungee
jump.
"Oofdah!" exclaimed Sven. "Vill you yust look at dat,
Ole. Dose people yump off dat big tower vit nuttink but
a rubber band tied to dare ankles. Dat looks like so
much fun. Come on, let's go do it."
"Oh, I don't tink so," says Ole. "Dat's much too
dangerous. Dis is vare I draw da line."
"Vell," says Sven, "you give me yust von good reason
vhy you von't go up on dat tower and yump off vit me."
"Ya, I give you a good reason," says Ole. "I came into
dis vorld because of a broken rubber and, by jimminy,
I'm not going to leave it da same vay."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife were lying in bed the other night
when he noticed she had bought a new book entitled,
"What 20 Million American Women Want."
He grabbed the book out of her hands and started
thumbing through the pages.
His wife was a little peeved. "Hey, what do you think
you're doing?"
He calmly replied, "I just wanted to see if they
spelled my name right."
-------------------------------------------
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me. By
following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner
peace. It reads: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the
things you've started."
I looked around to see all the things I had started and hadn't finished.
So today, I finished a bottle of white wine, a bottle of red wine, a
bottle of Bailey's, my Prozac, a large box of chocolates, and a quart of
beer.
You have no idea how good I feel.
waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, a
casual acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him.
The newcomer asks "W-w what are y-y-y you d-d-d doing here?"
The man replies, " I am waiting to see the doctor."
"W-w-w-hy d-d-do y-y-y you w-want to s-s-s- see h-him?"
The man replies, "Well, if you must know, I have a prostate
problem.
"A p-p prostate p-p-p problem, w-what's t-t-that?"
"Well, if you must know. I pee like you talk."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Sven & Ole, a couple of Norwegians now living in
Minnesota, head for the fair in Duluth. The first
thing to catch Sven's eye is the big double Ferris
wheel.
"Oh, Ole," he says, "vould you look at dat. I've
always vanted to go on von of dose big Ferris veels.
Let's go ride on dat von."
Ole, not being near as adventurous as Sven says, "Oh,
I don't tink so. Dat looks kind of dangerous to me."
"Vell," says Sven, "you give me yust von good reason
vhy you von't go vit me on dat ride."
Ole couldn't come up with a good reason so up they went.
Ole had to admit after the ride that it was kind of fun.
After another 10 or 15 minutes they came to the roller
coaster.
"Oh Ole," says Sven, "Vould you look at dat. Dat's von
fine looking roller coaster. I tink ve should go for a
ride on dat."
"Oh, I don't tink so." says Ole. "Dat looks very
dangerous to me."
"Vell," says Sven. "You give me yust von good reason vhy
you von't go vit me on dat roller coaster."
Again Ole couldn't come up with a good reason so they
both went up on the roller coaster. Ole had to admit
after the ride that it wasn't so bad.
After another 10 minutes or so, they came to the bungee
jump.
"Oofdah!" exclaimed Sven. "Vill you yust look at dat,
Ole. Dose people yump off dat big tower vit nuttink but
a rubber band tied to dare ankles. Dat looks like so
much fun. Come on, let's go do it."
"Oh, I don't tink so," says Ole. "Dat's much too
dangerous. Dis is vare I draw da line."
"Vell," says Sven, "you give me yust von good reason
vhy you von't go up on dat tower and yump off vit me."
"Ya, I give you a good reason," says Ole. "I came into
dis vorld because of a broken rubber and, by jimminy,
I'm not going to leave it da same vay."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife were lying in bed the other night
when he noticed she had bought a new book entitled,
"What 20 Million American Women Want."
He grabbed the book out of her hands and started
thumbing through the pages.
His wife was a little peeved. "Hey, what do you think
you're doing?"
He calmly replied, "I just wanted to see if they
spelled my name right."
-------------------------------------------
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me. By
following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner
peace. It reads: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the
things you've started."
I looked around to see all the things I had started and hadn't finished.
So today, I finished a bottle of white wine, a bottle of red wine, a
bottle of Bailey's, my Prozac, a large box of chocolates, and a quart of
beer.
You have no idea how good I feel.