How the hootenanny do i.....

[Pathos]

Now that
no longer works, does anyone know how to (or heck if it's still even possible - i'm presuming so) center a line on these wacky forums? I would sincerely appreciate any helpsies!

Because you see... I just LOVE centering! Whether i'm speeding down a busy highway, or just inciting a coital threesome, going down the middle is what i do best! [gargles childishly into the shocked silence]

In unrelated, but nontheless equally sobering news, i cut off all my exceedingly long, girly hair! AIEEEEEEEEEEEE! Naturally enough, having "gone long" (a disturbing appellation, to be sure) for so many years, the comments from my closest buds and such came fast and furious:

"It looks GREAT!"

"It looks CRAP!"

"NICE! Wanna make out?" "No, you're a MAN!" "Oh. Good point."

"Who the f!uck are you?"

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm."

"Get away from me, you goddamn freak."

"Pull my finger?"

"I'm sorry, I don't have a son anymore..."

"Looks like it was cut in the middle of a seizure."

"Is that a head or a mountain peak?"

"OH MY GOD! Are you okay??? Hold on i'll fetch a doct-- Oh! ...you had a haircut? Sorry my mistake."

"You still look like a hairy girl."

"It looks okay, i guess. BTW... ever seen a grown man naked?"

"Hey, cool! I got one too!" "You did? Really?!" "Yeah! I got a little brown one... in my ASS!" "Errrrr.... thanks, dad!" "No problem, son! Now put her there, pal!"

[fade on laughter and a poignant, blokey handshake]


- P

P.S. Sorry about that. I really would like to know how to center. It's just been a long day and i.. [sniffle] ...miss my locks. [styles remaining puffs of hair into loveheart and sighs in wistful remembrance]

[Fred Bear]

weird :unsure:

[Goober]

HEY PATHOS>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Been smokin the kangaroo dung again I see.
I have no idea how to center....I usually played quarterback *cough*bench warmer *cough*. You really should post a pic of your new hair. We all need a laugh...I mean we could give positive remarks on the visible dents in your head. Really would explain a lot.

Ah.....I found that picture of Pathos before the hair cut
Hi you old aussie you..... :wave:

[He Is Legend]

Originally posted by Goober@Jan 13 2004, 07:04 AM
HEY PATHOS>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Been smokin the kangaroo dung again I see.
I have no idea how to center....I usually played quarterback *cough*bench warmer *cough*. You really should post a pic of your new hair. We all need a laugh...I mean we could give positive remarks on the visible dents in your head. Really would explain a lot.

Ah.....I found that picture of Pathos before the hair cut
Hi you old aussie you..... :wave:
:rolf1: :rolf1:

[C2H5OH Guy]

:rofl:

[OUTLAWS high ping camper]

To center: Place your hands on either side of your monitor......and shake for 2 minutes......that should do the trick. :)

[Goober]

Originally posted by OUTLAWS high ping camper@Jan 13 2004, 07:42 AM
To center: Place your hands on either side of your monitor......and shake for 2 minutes......that should do the trick. :)
:rolf1: :rolf1: :rolf1:

Not getting any help from these comedians, are you Pathos???

Besides...everyone knows you have been off center all your life.

[JIMINATOR]

hey pathos, ignore them this is how you center....
generate a word document that looks like what you want,
take a screenshot, and post it.... :thumbs:

[Die Hard]

Is this what you mean?

[Die Hard]

Oh, I wonder how you centre that? :rolleyes:

[solid snake295]

......................................use dots!!!!
........................theyre really not all that visible
.........................i think they make it look fancy
.......................................... :thumbs:
....................................... :rofl:

[Die Hard]

Or use white dots :P

[Nitro]

Or manually do it!

[Nitro]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~i like tilde!

[EXEcution]

Originally posted by Die Hard@Jan 13 2004, 04:51 PM
Or use white dots :P
He did..... :unsure:
U mean blue ones?
I don't think its possible to center things, although i could be wrong,

[Die Hard]

Originally posted by DaRkAgent+Jan 14 2004, 07:49 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (DaRkAgent @ Jan 14 2004, 07:49 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Die Hard@Jan 13 2004, 04:51 PM
Or use white dots :P
He did..... :unsure:
U mean blue ones?
I don&#39;t think its possible to center things, although i could be wrong, [/b][/quote]
No he didn&#39;t. It&#39;s just that you view the forums in a blue skin
with white writing :P

[Death Engineer]

&#91;doHTML&#93;&#60;p align=center&#62;TEST&#60;/p&#62;&#91;/doHTML&#93;

<p align=center>TEST</p>

EDIT: I have no idea. :P

[Dangerous Dan]

_____________________________Center

virtually unnoticable... :oooo:

[Pathos]

Originally posted by Goober+Jan 13 2004, 10:48 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Goober &#064; Jan 13 2004, 10:48 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>Not getting any help from these comedians, are you Pathos???[/b]
Ah well... while the chucklesome responses in and of themselves made it worthwhile, the attempt was no less appreciated.

<!--QuoteBegin-OUTLAWS high ping camper@Jan 13 2004, 10:42 PM
To center: Place your hands on either side of your monitor......and shake for 2 minutes......that should do the trick. :)[/quote]
HAHA&#33; That reminds me of yet ANOTHER anecdote&#33; [throws an oversized log onto the campfire and clears throat for suitably moody rendition]

********************************

EDIT: I, pathos dumb-squire, wrote a lot of crap which never should have seen the light of a holy day.

Rest assured my minders have me swimming in a kiddie pool with about fifty high-powered lifeguards watching my every move.

********************************

And now some random thoughts:

Goober - that avatar of yours STILL cracks me up&#33; Kudos to you for having kept it so long. Solidarity.

And to any and all DS members which may be reading (and i apologise profusely for having conceivably exposed you to this now-troubled topic) the colour scheme on your tags looks bloody great&#33; It&#39;s just so... stylishly striking.

Like the sea after a storm. [looks meaningfully into the distance]

[OUTLAWS high ping camper]

Orderly&#33;....Oh, Orderly&#33;

I believe it&#39;s time for Pathos&#39; meds.




Just kiddin&#39; hon&#39;.........you always crack me up. :thumbs:

[Aries]

BIS :wootrock:

[Pathos]

OH... MY... GOD&#33; I gotta stop posting on an inebriated hours sleep. I did it in the private forum once and it started a mexican wave of hate and distrust. Heck, the MERCS have only just now started talking to me again. Not that my apologetic bevy of gifts and nubile hotties had anything to do with it... [eyes twinkle mischievously]

My girlie caught a glimpse of the earlier post over my shoulder (my heinous giggling as i typed somehow drew her to me). Amid the sad, slow shake of her head, i&#39;m fairly certain i caught a muttered "wanker" and something about a gerbil... [sob]

Sorry fellas&#33; I have edited the post and suitably chastised myself, and i now jitter with each keystroke i press. The next time, i&#39;ll keep my anecdotes to myself&#33;

And guys, to avoid my mistakes, always remember:

A. Don&#39;t leave drinks unattended.
B. Don&#39;t spike your own drink.
C. It’s not how much you injest, its how cool you look while you are at the pub that really matters...

Lest i type another sentence, I&#39;m off to raise hedgehogs under an assumed name. [shamefully slinks away]

[solid snake295]

:lol: yur phunny&#33;