BlaBla

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I don't like principles, I prefer prejudices. Oscar Wilde.

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I like looking at geniuses, and listening to beautiful people. Oscar Wilde.

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I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

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I never know whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses.

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I never put off till tomorrow what I can possibly do the day after. Oscar Wilde.

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I sometimes think that God in creating man, somewhat overestimated His ability. Oscar Wilde.

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If a man loves to give advice, it is a sure sign that he himself needs it.

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If at first you don't succeed you are running about average.

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If only one takes care of means, the end will take care of itself. Gandhi.

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If we judge of love by the majority of its results it rather resembles hatred than friendship.

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If you don't aim at anything you achieve nothing.

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If you have many friends you probably have little time.

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If you want to see what children can do, you must stop giving them things.

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If your enemy wrongs you, buy each of his children a drum.

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In a multitude of words there will certainly be an error.

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In general, pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes.

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In this age when it is said of a man "he knows to live" it may be implied he is not very honest.

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Instead of loving your enemies treat your friends a little better.

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Intelligence is like a river: the deeper it is, the less noise it makes.

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It is a glorious thing to be indifferent to suffering, but only to one's own suffering.

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It is a wise talker who knows when he has nothing to say. You won't have a high post count though.

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It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. Oscar Wilde.

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It is better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same.

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It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. Oscar Wilde.

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It is easier to produce ten volumes of philosophical writing than to put one principle into practice.

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It is many a slip between the cup and the lip.

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It is not enough to do good; one must do it in the right way.

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It is often said that force is no argument. That, however, entirely depends on what one wants do prove. Oscar Wilde.

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It is so easy to convert others. It is so difficult to convert oneself. Oscar Wilde.

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It is the first step that is troublesome.

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It often takes a speaker twice as long to tell what he thinks as to tell what he knows.

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It requires a very unusual mind to undertake the analysis of the obvious.

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It's a great man who can laugh at his misfortunes.

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It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.

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Journalism is unreadable, and literature is not read.

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Just as we suffer from excess in all things so we suffer from excess in literature.

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Killing time is not so much murder as suicide.

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Language is the parent, and not the child, of thought. Oscar Wilde.

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Learning has gained most from those books from which the printers have lost.

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Life is a hospital, in which every patient wants to change his bed.

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Like most people who try to exhaust a subject, he exhausted his listeners.

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Man can believe the impossible but can never believe the improbable.

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Many laws but little justice.

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Many things are not believed because their current explanation is not believed.

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Many wise words are spoken in jest; but they don't begin to compare with the number of foolish words spoken in earnest.

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Marriage: a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two.

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Marriage: a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

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Marriage is like a cafeteria: you take what looks good to you, and pay for it later.

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Men can live without air for a few minutes, without water for about two weeks, without food for two months, and without a new thought, for years and years.

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Men tire themselves in pursuit of rest.

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Modern age: when girls wear less in the street than their grandmothers did in bed.

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Money will buy a pretty good dog but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

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Monotony is a law of nature. Look at the monotonous manner in which the sun rises.

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My duty is a thing I never do, on principle. Oscar Wilde.

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New brooms sweep clear.

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No man with four aces asks for a new deal.

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No member of a crew is praised for the individuality of his rowing.

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No one can be original by trying.

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Nobody has ever been able to tell the difference between a fool and a hero until afterwards.

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Nobody has ever tried to change gold into lead.

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Nothing is ever all wrong. Even a clock that stops is right twice a day.

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Nothing is impossible in Russia but reform. Oscar Wilde.

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Nothing marks the increasing wealth of our times and the growth of the public mind toward refinement more than the demand for books.

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Nowadays it is only the unreadable that occurs.

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One must be serious about something, if one wants to have any amusement in life. Oscar Wilde.

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Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

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People are also judged by the company they keep away from.

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People are usually more convinced by reasons they discovered themselves than by those found by others.

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Perfection is finally attained not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

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Philosophy teaches us to bear with equanimity the misfortunes of our neighbours. Oscar Wilde.

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Power of speech is given to all, wisdom of mind to few.

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Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

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Scandal: something that has to be very bad to be very good.

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Scepticism is the beginning of Faith. Oscar Wilde.

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Science is organized knowledge.

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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde.

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She laughs at everything you say. Why? Because she has fine teeth.

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Some people always look for a job and always avoid work.

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Some people have nothing else but experience.

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Sometimes tolerance is another name for indifference.

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Success depends on knowing how long it will take to succeed.

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Taking advantage of any situation that is what some people call intelligence.

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Talk to a man about himself and he will listen to you for hours.

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The ancient historians gave us delightful fiction in the form of fact; the modern novelist presents us with dull facts under the guise of fiction. Oscar Wilde.

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The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary: men alone are capable of every wickedness.

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The best that one can say of most modern creative art is that it is just a little less vulgar than reality. Oscar Wilde.

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The character is a long standing habit.

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The Creeds are believed not because they are rational, but because they are repeated. Oscar Wilde.

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The discontented are the driving force of progress.

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The discovery of America was the death of art. Oscar Wilde.

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The first half our life is usually ruined by our parents, and the second by our children.

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The future influences the present just as much as the past.

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The great superiority of France over England is that in France every bourgeois wants to be an artist, whereas in England every artist wants to be a bourgeois.

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The greater the power, the more dangerous its abuse.

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The greatest event in the history of the universe was the evolution of gas into genius.

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The greatest fool is he who thinks he is not one and all the others are.

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The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular reason for being happy except that they are so.

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The less broth, the more spoons.

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The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

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The more help man gets in his garden, the less it belongs to him.

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The Negro, thanks to his temperament, appears to make the greatest amount of happiness out of the smallest capital.

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The real tragedy of the poor is that they can afford nothing but self- denial. Oscar Wilde.

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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

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The terrible thing about the search for truth is that you find it.

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The test of good manners is being able to put up with bad ones.

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The true snob is a man who is afraid to admit that he is bored when he is bored.

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The usual pretext of those who make others unhappy is that they do it for their own good.

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The way to be a bore is for an author to say everything.

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The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast. Oscar Wilde.

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The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years. Oscar Wilde.

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There are only three ways by which an individual can get rich: by work, by gift, or by theft.

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There are so many things one can do without.

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There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.

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There is no sin except stupidity. Oscar Wilde.

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There is nothing so unlucky as depending on luck.

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There is this difference between happiness and wisdom: he that thinks himself the happiest man, really is so; but he that thinks himself the wisest is generally the greatest fool.

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Thought depends on the stomach, but in spite of that, those who have the best stomachs are not the best thinkers.

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Time is waste of money. Oscar Wilde.

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To admire is the only way of imitating without losing originality.

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To be happy add to your possessions but subtract from your desires.

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To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up. Oscar Wilde.

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To be on the spot when the opportunity for greatness occurs is the essential thing.

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To die for one's theological beliefs is the worst use a man can make of his life.

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To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.

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To profit from good advice demands more wisdom than to give it.

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To recommend thrift to the poor is both grotesque and insulting. Oscar Wilde.

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To win back my youth there is nothing I wouldn't do except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of community. Oscar Wilde.

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Visits always give pleasure: if not the coming, then the going.

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We all find time to do what we really want to do.

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We are always bored by those whom we bore.

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We are by nature already condemned to die which sentence no man can pardon.

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We are interested in others when they are interested in us.

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We are not satisfied to be right, unless we can prove others to be quite wrong.

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We are tired by the work we do not do, not by what we do.

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We hardly find any person of good sense save those who agree with us.

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We learn from experience that men never learn from experience.

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We live in the age in which people are so industrious that they become absolutely stupid. Oscar Wilde.

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We must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.

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We often read with as much talent as we write.

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What a dustbin is the memory of a man who never forgets.

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What a man thinks of himself, influences his fate.

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What begins in happiness is doomed to end in misery.

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What is a highbrow? He is a man who has found something more interesting than women.

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What is not useful to any is harmful to all.

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What is written without effort is usually read without pleasure.

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When a man acts he is a puppet. When he describes he is a poet. Oscar Wilde.

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When a man has no enemy left there must be something mean about him. Oscar Wilde.

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When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.

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When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers. Oscar Wilde.

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When the public describe a work as grossly immoral, they mean that the artist has said or made a beautiful thing that is true. Oscar Wilde.

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Where it is duty to worship the sun, it is a crime to examine the laws of heat.

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While an author is yet living, we estimate his powers by his worst performance; and when he is dead, we rate them by his best.

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Who is loved by everybody has much trouble.

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With freedom, flowers, books and the moon, who could not be perfectly happy? Oscar Wilde.

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Women are the most reliable as they have no memory for the important. Oscar Wilde.

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Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them they will forgive us even our superior intellects.

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Worry is like sand in an oyster: a little produces a pearl, too much kills the animal.

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Yawn is at least an honest opinion.

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You are not permitted to kill a woman who has injured you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

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You can't tell an honest man from a rogue, at least not at the first sight.

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You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a "realist", he is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing.

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You must not find symbols in everything you see. It makes life impossible. Oscar Wilde.

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Youth is the one thing worth having.

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13 pages worth of pure spam.
13 times 20.
Over 260 posts.
Sweet! :thumbs:

[Strifer]

A small mistake...
Only 11 pages, but I'm going to correct that soon.

[Strifer]

And now for something completely different:

Laws.

Chapter 1: Murphy's laws.

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Nothing is as easy as it looks.

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Everything takes longer than you think.

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Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

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If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.

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If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

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If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

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Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

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Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

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Mother nature is a bitch.

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It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

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Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

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Every solution breeds new problems.

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Fixing a thing takes longer and costs more than you thought.

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Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand wrong answers.

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If several things that could have gone wrong have not gone wrong, it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong.

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Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

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Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

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No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

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Friendly fire ain't.

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The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

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The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.

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The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

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The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.

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Incoming fire has the right of way.

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If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

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The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

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If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

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The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

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The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

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There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

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Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.

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If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

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A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.

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After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.

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Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.

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If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.

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If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

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Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.

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The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.

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Chapter 2: Laws of Programming.

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Definition: A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.

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Every non-trivial program has at least one bug : Corollary 1: A sufficient condition for program triviality is that it have no bugs. Corollary 2: At least one bug will be observed after the author leaves the organization.

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Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another 'unrelated' part is modified.

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The subtlest bugs cause the greatest damage and problems. : Corollary: A subtle bug will modify storage thereby masquerading as some other problem.

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('Lulled into Security Law') : A 'debugged' program that crashes will wipe out source files on storage devices when there is the least available backup.

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A hardware failure will cause system software to crash, and the customer engineer will blame the programmer.

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The documented interfaces between standard software modules will have undocumented quirks.

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The probability of a hardware failure disappearing is inversely proportional to the distance between the computer and the customer engineer.

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Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

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Any program will expand to fill all available memory.

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Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer to maintain it.

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Any given program costs more and takes longer.

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If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

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If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

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Chapter 3: Barber's Laws of Backpacking.

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The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop trail you chose to hike always comes out positive.

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Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

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The weight of your pack increases in direct proportion to the amount of food you consume from it. If you run out of food, the pack weight goes on increasing anyway.

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The number of stones in your boot is directly proportional to the number of hours you have been on the trail.

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The difficulty of finding any given trail marker is directly proportional to the importance of the consequences of failing to find it.

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The size of each of the stones in your boot is directly proportional to the number of hours you have been on the trail.

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The remaining distance to your chosen campsite remains constant as twilight approaches.

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The net weight of your boots is proportional to the cube of the number of hours you have been on the trail.

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When you arrive at your chosen campsite, it is full.

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If you take your boots off, you'll never get them back on again.

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The local density of mosquitos is inversely proportional to your remaining repellent.

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Chapter 4: Barrett's Laws of Driving.

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You can get ANYWHERE in ten minutes if you go fast enough.

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Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the desired restraining speed.

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The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.

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This lane ends in 500 feet.

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Chapter 5: Dhawan's Laws for the Non-Smoker.

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The cigarette smoke always drifts in the direction of the non-smoker regardless of the direction of the breeze.

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The amount of pleasure derived from a cigarette is directly proportional to the number of non-smokers in the vicinity.

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A smoker is always attracted to the non-smoking section.

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The life of a cigarette is directly proportional to the intensity of the protests from the non-smokers.

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Chapter 6: Troutman's Programming Laws

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If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction.

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Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will the most harmful error then be discovered.

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Job control cards that cannot be arranged in improper order will be.

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Interchangeable tapes won't.

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If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.

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Chapter 7: The Other's Laws.