HAMMER
09-18-2002, 06:27 PM
No offense to the ladies...but this is great :)
Notice to All the Bank's Customers:
Please note that the Bank is installing new "drive-through" teller machines.
Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
To enable customers to use this new facility, the following procedures have
been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own
circumstances (i.e., MALE or FEMALE)and remember it when you use the machine
for the first time.
MALE PROCEDURE
A. Drive up to the cash machine.
B. Put down your car window.
C. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
D. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
E. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
F. Put window up
G. Drive off
FEMALE PROCEDURE
A. Drive up to cash machine
B. Reverse car to back up the required amount to align car window to machine
C. Set parking brake; put the window down
D. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
E. Turn the radio down
F. Attempt to insert card into machine
G. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car
H. Insert card
I. Re-insert card the right way up
J. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
back page
K. Enter PIN.
L. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
M. Enter amount of cash required
N. Check make up in rear view mirror
O. Retrieve cash and receipt
P. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
Q. Place receipt in back of checkbook
R. Re-check make-up again
S. Drive forward 2 feet
T. Reverse back to cash machine
U. Retrieve card
V. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided
W. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers in line
behind you
X. Restart stalled engine and pull off
Y. Drive two miles
Z. Release parking brake
Notice to All the Bank's Customers:
Please note that the Bank is installing new "drive-through" teller machines.
Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
To enable customers to use this new facility, the following procedures have
been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own
circumstances (i.e., MALE or FEMALE)and remember it when you use the machine
for the first time.
MALE PROCEDURE
A. Drive up to the cash machine.
B. Put down your car window.
C. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
D. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
E. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
F. Put window up
G. Drive off
FEMALE PROCEDURE
A. Drive up to cash machine
B. Reverse car to back up the required amount to align car window to machine
C. Set parking brake; put the window down
D. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
E. Turn the radio down
F. Attempt to insert card into machine
G. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car
H. Insert card
I. Re-insert card the right way up
J. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
back page
K. Enter PIN.
L. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
M. Enter amount of cash required
N. Check make up in rear view mirror
O. Retrieve cash and receipt
P. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
Q. Place receipt in back of checkbook
R. Re-check make-up again
S. Drive forward 2 feet
T. Reverse back to cash machine
U. Retrieve card
V. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided
W. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers in line
behind you
X. Restart stalled engine and pull off
Y. Drive two miles
Z. Release parking brake