Thundarr
04-29-2004, 04:18 PM
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said,
"You want chocolate with that?" And Man said "Yes!," and
Woman said, "and as long as you're at it,
add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And
Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might
keep the figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,
and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to
size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic
toast on the side. And Man and
Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went
through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it
"Angel Food Cake," and said "it is good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it
"Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His
children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man
would not have to toil changing the channels. And
Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering
blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And
Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then
said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size
them!" And
Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac
arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said,
"You want chocolate with that?" And Man said "Yes!," and
Woman said, "and as long as you're at it,
add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And
Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might
keep the figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,
and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to
size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic
toast on the side. And Man and
Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went
through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it
"Angel Food Cake," and said "it is good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it
"Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His
children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man
would not have to toil changing the channels. And
Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering
blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And
Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then
said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size
them!" And
Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac
arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.