MOM

[OUTLAWS CHICO]

1. CONSTIPATED PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A SH@#.
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2. PRACTICE SAFE SEX, GO SCREW YOURSELF.
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3. IF YOU DRINK, DON'T PARK, ACCIDENTS CAUSE PEOPLE.
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4. WHO LIT THE FUSE ON YOUR TAMPON?
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5. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN ORAL SEX, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
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6. PLEASE TELL YOUR PANTS IT'S NOT POLITE TO POINT.
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7. IF THAT PHONE WAS UP YOUR BUTT, MAYBE YOU COULD DRIVE A LITTLE BETTER.
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8. MY KID GOT YOUR HONOR ROLL STUDENT PREGNANT.
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9. THANK YOU FOR POT SMOKING.
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10. TO ALL YOU VIRGINS: THANKS FOR NOTHING.
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11. IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED ... BLAME SOMEONE ELSE AND SEEK COUNSELLING. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12. IMPOTENCE: NATURE'S WAY OF SAYING "NO HARD FEELINGS".
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13. IF YOU CAN READ THIS, I'VE LOST MY TRAILER.
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14. HORN BROKEN ... WATCH FOR FINGER.
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15. IT'S NOT HOW YOU PICK YOUR NOSE, BUT WHERE YOU PUT THE BOOGER.
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16. IF YOU'RE NOT A HEMORRHOID, GET OFF MY ASS.
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17. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE THE VOICES ONLY TALK TO ME.
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18. EARTH IS FULL - GO HOME.
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19. I HAVE THE BODY OF A GOD ... BUDDHA.
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20. THIS WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY IF IT WEREN'T HAPPENING TO ME.
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21. SO MANY PEDESTRIANS - SO LITTLE TIME.
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22. CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.
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23. IF WE QUIT VOTING WILL THEY ALL GO AWAY?
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24. THE FACE IS FAMILIAR BUT I CAN'T QUITE REMEMBER MY NAME.
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25. EAT RIGHT, EXERCISE, DIE ANYWAY.
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26. ILLITERATE? WRITE FOR HELP.
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27. HONK IF ANYTHING FALLS OFF.
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28. COVER ME, I'M CHANGING LANES.
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29. HE WHO HESITATES IS NOT ONLY LOST BUT MILES FROM THE NEXT EXIT.
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30. I REFUSE TO HAVE A BATTLE OF WITS WITH AN UNARMED PERSON.
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31. YOU!!! OUT OF THE GENE POOL!!!
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32. I DO WHATEVER MY RICE KRISPIES TELL ME TO.
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33. WHERE ARE WE GOING AND WHY AM I IN THIS HANDBASKET?
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37. IF SEX IS A PAIN IN THE ASS, YOU'RE DOING IT THE WRONG WAY.
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38. FIGHT CRIME: SHOOT BACK!
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39. IF YOU CAN READ THIS, PLEASE FLIP ME BACK OVER ...
(Seen > > Upside Down On A Jeep)
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40. REMEMBER FOLKS: STOP LIGHTS TIMED FOR 35MPH ARE ALSO TIMED FOR 70MPH.
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41. GUYS: NO SHIRT, NO SERVICE. GALS: NO SHIRT, NO CHARGE.
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42. IF WALKING IS SO GOOD FOR YOU, THEN WHY DOES MY MAILMAN LOOK LIKE JABBA THE HUT?
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43. NECROPHILIA: THAT UNCONTROLLABLE URGE TO CRACK OPEN A COLD ONE.
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44. AXE ME ABOUT EBONICS.
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45. BODY BY NAUTILUS; BRAIN BY MATTEL.
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46. BOLDLY GOING NOWHERE.
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47. CAT: THE OTHER WHITE MEAT.
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48. CAUTION: DRIVER LEGALLY BLONDE.
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49. DON'T BE SEXIST - BITCHES HATE THAT.
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50. HEART ATTACKS: GOD'S REVENGE FOR EATING HIS ANIMAL FRIENDS.
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51. HONK IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN AN UZI FIRED FROM A CAR WINDOW.
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52. HOW MANY ROADS MUST A MAN TRAVEL DOWN BEFORE HE ADMITS HE IS LOST?
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53. IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, RIDDLE THEM WITH BULLETS.
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54. MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING, BUT IT SURE KEEPS THE KIDS IN TOUCH.
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55. SAW IT ... WANTED IT .. HAD A FIT .. GOT IT!!!
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56. MY HOCKEY MOM CAN BEAT UP YOUR SOCCER MOM.
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57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE - PLANT A MAN.
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58. ALL MEN ARE ANIMALS, SOME JUST MAKE BETTER PETS.
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59. SOME PEOPLE ARE ONLY ALIVE BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM.
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60. I USED TO HAVE A HANDLE ON LIFE, BUT IT BROKE.

[MANSON]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[NightBreed]

:w00t: Those are great !! :thumbs:


IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, RIDDLE THEM WITH BULLETS :rofl: :rolf1:

[Dan2]

:rofl: :rofl:
A lot of good ones!!! :thumbs: :rofl:

[Sauron]

:rolf1: