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Pure_Evil
05-26-2004, 11:17 AM
WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT OUR COURT SYSTEM?

THE 2003 STELLA AWARDS

Once again, it's time to review the winners of the Annual Stella Awards. The litigious Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

Unfortunately, the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds and the teens that allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat was filed after the 2003 award voting was closed. This suit will, undoubtedly, top the 2004 awards list.


5th Place (3-Way-Tie)

A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, $780,000 after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms Robertson's son.


5th Place (3-Way-Tie)

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles, California, won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.


5th Place (3-Way-Tie)

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson
found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food he found in the garage. He sued the house owners insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.


4th Place

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time, as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.


3rd Place

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500, after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx tailbone. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.


2nd Place

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to crawl through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.


THE GRAND PRIZE

This year&#39;s runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. <<< OMG&#33;&#33;&#33; >>Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and then overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him, by instructing him in the owner&#39;s manual, that he actually could NOT do this. The jury awarded him &#036;1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. FOOTNOTE: The Company ACTUALLY changed their owner&#39;s manuals on the basis of this suit... just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
:blink: Grimmy, friend of yours? :unsure:

ForrestFunk
05-26-2004, 12:27 PM
sometimes i wish i&#39;d live in the US :wacko:

Thundarr
05-29-2004, 09:34 PM
I think this should&#39;ve made the STELLA awards&#33;

A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things.
Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars
and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the
policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued...and won&#33;

In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company
that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what
is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid &#036;15,000 to the lawyer for his loss
of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

NOW FOR THE BEST PART
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;

With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being
used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his
insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a &#036;24,000
fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal
Lawyers Award Contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA&#33;&#33;&#33;