Thundarr
05-29-2004, 09:26 PM
Why Did the Chicken
CROSS THE ROAD
George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
The chicken is either with us or it is against us.
There is no middle ground here.
Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road
represented the application of these two
different functions of government in a new,
reinvented way designed to bring greater
services to the American people.
Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2004,
which will not only cross roads, but will
lay eggs, file your important documents,
and balance your checkbook - and Internet
Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing
order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr. Seuss' Answer:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having
their motives called into question.
Grandpa's Answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Someone told us that
the chicken crossed the road, and that
was good enough for us.
Barbara Walters' Answer:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments
we will be listening to the chicken tell,
for the first time, the heart-warming story
of how it experienced a serious case of
molting and went on to accomplish its life
long dream of crossing the road.
Ralph Nader's Answer:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.
The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on
other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road?
I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask,
"What the heck was this chicken doing walking
around all over the place anyway?"
Pat Buchanan's Answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Jerry Falwell's Answer:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious?
Can't you people see the plain truth in front of
your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the other side.".
John Lennon's Answer:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
Aristotle's Answer:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion
and we were quite justified in dropping
50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Captain Kirk's Answer:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Bill Clinton's Answer:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?
The Bible's Answer:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said
unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the
chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Albert Einstein's Answer:
Did the chicken really cross the road or
did the road move beneath the chicken?
Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that
the chicken crossed the road reveals your
underlying sexual insecurity.
L.A.P.D.'s Answer:
Give me ten minutes with
the chicken and I'll find out.
Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road.
I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
Buddha's Answer:
If you ask this question, you
deny your own chicken nature.
Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need
its eggs to make my omelette.
Louis Farrakhan's Answer:
The road, you will see, represents the black
man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in
order to trample him and keep him down.
The Pope's Answer:
That is only for God to know.
Emily Dickenson's Answer:
Because it could not stop for death.
O.J. Simpson's Answer:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
Colonel Sanders' Answer:
I missed one?
CROSS THE ROAD
George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
The chicken is either with us or it is against us.
There is no middle ground here.
Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road
represented the application of these two
different functions of government in a new,
reinvented way designed to bring greater
services to the American people.
Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2004,
which will not only cross roads, but will
lay eggs, file your important documents,
and balance your checkbook - and Internet
Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing
order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr. Seuss' Answer:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having
their motives called into question.
Grandpa's Answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Someone told us that
the chicken crossed the road, and that
was good enough for us.
Barbara Walters' Answer:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments
we will be listening to the chicken tell,
for the first time, the heart-warming story
of how it experienced a serious case of
molting and went on to accomplish its life
long dream of crossing the road.
Ralph Nader's Answer:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.
The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on
other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road?
I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask,
"What the heck was this chicken doing walking
around all over the place anyway?"
Pat Buchanan's Answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Jerry Falwell's Answer:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious?
Can't you people see the plain truth in front of
your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the other side.".
John Lennon's Answer:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
Aristotle's Answer:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion
and we were quite justified in dropping
50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Captain Kirk's Answer:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Bill Clinton's Answer:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?
The Bible's Answer:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said
unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the
chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Albert Einstein's Answer:
Did the chicken really cross the road or
did the road move beneath the chicken?
Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that
the chicken crossed the road reveals your
underlying sexual insecurity.
L.A.P.D.'s Answer:
Give me ten minutes with
the chicken and I'll find out.
Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road.
I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
Buddha's Answer:
If you ask this question, you
deny your own chicken nature.
Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need
its eggs to make my omelette.
Louis Farrakhan's Answer:
The road, you will see, represents the black
man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in
order to trample him and keep him down.
The Pope's Answer:
That is only for God to know.
Emily Dickenson's Answer:
Because it could not stop for death.
O.J. Simpson's Answer:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
Colonel Sanders' Answer:
I missed one?