Alexis SC430
06-13-2004, 04:25 AM
The subject of Ashton Kutcher was brought up, and it rekindled some memories (and rage) of his current "relationship":
I recently saw pictures in some tabloid of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore kissing and fondling each other. BUT, these weren't them at some awards show or something these were taken by a paparazzi most likely from a distance like in a park or something; my point being that she wasn't all dolled up and made over. She wore very little makeup, had her hair poorly tied back in a messy ponytail, and she wore a granny-esque, mint-green and white striped t-shirt and baggy Old Navy shorts combo.
Lemme tell you: she looked every disturbing bit of her 42-years right down to the crow's feet and blotchy thighs. Not that being 42 makes you look "disturbing", only when a young (oh so godamn sexxxy -- dude, where's the backseat of your car?? omg) 26-year old boy has his tongue in your mouth and hands on Bruce Willis' former Silicon-Enhanced-Executive-Stress-Relievers™ which seem to be in the early phases of demonstrating yet another example of gravity at work.
Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I always think an older girl/guy with a younger guy/girl is a bad thing -- sometimes it's infinitely better. For example, Brad Pitt is 40 but even if he WAS 42 (no big difference) I would looooooo(oooooooo)vvvvvvvveee to do some long-division with him, i.e. What do we get when we put 42 into 22??? The answer is: something that would make life imprisonment without the possibility of parole SOOO TOTALLY worth it for crushing her DUMB TRAPAZOID-HEADED, SQUARE-JAWED, THINKS THAT SHE WILL ACTUALLY MAKE IT IN MOVIES AFTER LEAVING "FRIENDS" WHICH IS GETTING CANCELLED AND IT'S HER FAULT SKULL IN WITH A SHOVEL!!!!!!!!! Ohhhhhh, talk about a duet of pleasure... and I'd prop her up against the wall or use a nail-gun to attach her to the ceiling so she would have to watch!!!
But anyway, Demi Moore didn't look pretty AT ALL and her hair was all frizzy (despite the presence of a stupid elastic white baseball cap attempting to hold the mess together) and staticky like she needed someone to rub a goddamn Bounce dryer sheet over it.
I so totally hate her. Aside from her role in "Ghost" and doing the woman's voice in "Beavis and Butthead Do America" I am hard-pressed to think of a movie where Demetria Guynes (which is her REAL name... gag! ...were her parents expecting to have a vampire?) was even half way bearable. (OWWWWW!! Sorry, the pain of watching "The 7th Sign" suddenly hit me again like an acid flashback.) Need I even point out that she is ONLY famous for being able to well up and hold THREE PINTS worth of tears in her eyes before letting them fall to the floor like melodramatic waterballoons?!?!?!?!?!
Well, that and the TWELVE GALLONS WORTH OF SILICON SHE HAD PUMPED INTO HER CHEST!!!! AND SHE ACTUALLY HAS THE NERVE TO CLAIM SHE DOESN'T HAVE IMPLANTS!!!!
I mean, she must totally think and believe we're all RETARDS; I guess she doesn't remember her role in a little 1984 film called "BLAME IT ON RIO"??? SHE IS TOPLESS AND ALSO TOTALLY FLAT!!!
That is a well-known fact -- just like it's all well-known fact that movie SUCKED:
Colin Jacobson (Film Critic):
"Blame It On Rio" isn’t a terrible film, but it seemed overly bland and dull. It lacked many signs of life, and the characters failed to become engaging enough to generate much interest. Ultimately it stands mostly as a historical curiosity since we can see pre-implants Demi Moore topless."
In summation: DIE BI-ATCH, DIE DIE DIE!!! I HOPE THOSE NIGRA-TEARS OF YOURS SLICK UP THE ROAD AND CAUSE JENNIFER ANNISTON'S CAR TO SPIN OUT OF CONTROL KILLING HER AND SHE COMES BACK LIKE IN "GHOST" AND IMPALES YOU ON A WINDOW LIKE IN THE END OF THAT MOVIE AND YOU DIE AND CONCENTRATED NITRIC ACID GETS SPLASHED ON YOUR FACE FOR SOME REASON!!!
Just think, in just a few years Demi can appear on "That 70's Show" as the title character.
I recently saw pictures in some tabloid of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore kissing and fondling each other. BUT, these weren't them at some awards show or something these were taken by a paparazzi most likely from a distance like in a park or something; my point being that she wasn't all dolled up and made over. She wore very little makeup, had her hair poorly tied back in a messy ponytail, and she wore a granny-esque, mint-green and white striped t-shirt and baggy Old Navy shorts combo.
Lemme tell you: she looked every disturbing bit of her 42-years right down to the crow's feet and blotchy thighs. Not that being 42 makes you look "disturbing", only when a young (oh so godamn sexxxy -- dude, where's the backseat of your car?? omg) 26-year old boy has his tongue in your mouth and hands on Bruce Willis' former Silicon-Enhanced-Executive-Stress-Relievers™ which seem to be in the early phases of demonstrating yet another example of gravity at work.
Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I always think an older girl/guy with a younger guy/girl is a bad thing -- sometimes it's infinitely better. For example, Brad Pitt is 40 but even if he WAS 42 (no big difference) I would looooooo(oooooooo)vvvvvvvveee to do some long-division with him, i.e. What do we get when we put 42 into 22??? The answer is: something that would make life imprisonment without the possibility of parole SOOO TOTALLY worth it for crushing her DUMB TRAPAZOID-HEADED, SQUARE-JAWED, THINKS THAT SHE WILL ACTUALLY MAKE IT IN MOVIES AFTER LEAVING "FRIENDS" WHICH IS GETTING CANCELLED AND IT'S HER FAULT SKULL IN WITH A SHOVEL!!!!!!!!! Ohhhhhh, talk about a duet of pleasure... and I'd prop her up against the wall or use a nail-gun to attach her to the ceiling so she would have to watch!!!
But anyway, Demi Moore didn't look pretty AT ALL and her hair was all frizzy (despite the presence of a stupid elastic white baseball cap attempting to hold the mess together) and staticky like she needed someone to rub a goddamn Bounce dryer sheet over it.
I so totally hate her. Aside from her role in "Ghost" and doing the woman's voice in "Beavis and Butthead Do America" I am hard-pressed to think of a movie where Demetria Guynes (which is her REAL name... gag! ...were her parents expecting to have a vampire?) was even half way bearable. (OWWWWW!! Sorry, the pain of watching "The 7th Sign" suddenly hit me again like an acid flashback.) Need I even point out that she is ONLY famous for being able to well up and hold THREE PINTS worth of tears in her eyes before letting them fall to the floor like melodramatic waterballoons?!?!?!?!?!
Well, that and the TWELVE GALLONS WORTH OF SILICON SHE HAD PUMPED INTO HER CHEST!!!! AND SHE ACTUALLY HAS THE NERVE TO CLAIM SHE DOESN'T HAVE IMPLANTS!!!!
I mean, she must totally think and believe we're all RETARDS; I guess she doesn't remember her role in a little 1984 film called "BLAME IT ON RIO"??? SHE IS TOPLESS AND ALSO TOTALLY FLAT!!!
That is a well-known fact -- just like it's all well-known fact that movie SUCKED:
Colin Jacobson (Film Critic):
"Blame It On Rio" isn’t a terrible film, but it seemed overly bland and dull. It lacked many signs of life, and the characters failed to become engaging enough to generate much interest. Ultimately it stands mostly as a historical curiosity since we can see pre-implants Demi Moore topless."
In summation: DIE BI-ATCH, DIE DIE DIE!!! I HOPE THOSE NIGRA-TEARS OF YOURS SLICK UP THE ROAD AND CAUSE JENNIFER ANNISTON'S CAR TO SPIN OUT OF CONTROL KILLING HER AND SHE COMES BACK LIKE IN "GHOST" AND IMPALES YOU ON A WINDOW LIKE IN THE END OF THAT MOVIE AND YOU DIE AND CONCENTRATED NITRIC ACID GETS SPLASHED ON YOUR FACE FOR SOME REASON!!!
Just think, in just a few years Demi can appear on "That 70's Show" as the title character.