Senator Keyy's Application! lol!

[Nitro]

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[EXEcution]

Tip posted something similar to that.
some of it is pretty funny tho =D

[EdoG]

Hehe Biggd, I got this off another forum adn im not saying its true (unlike thundarr says) but its a good read, fact or fiction :)

JOB APPLICATION

NAME: John Kerry

RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including Washington DC, worth multi-millions.

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator. I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.

MILITARY: I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book; Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier
shows how I truly feel about the military.

COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike
my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.BA

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself.
Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to
admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he
will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth
in excess of $ 700 million.

I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in
places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I Blame George Bush for sending all of the jobs out of Country.

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucketand Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES: None.

PERSONAL: I ride a Serotta Bike.
My Gulfstream V Jet I call The Flying Squirrel.
I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckleytwin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".
I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real
culture.
I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket
summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient
vehicles and blame George Bush for the energy problems.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004



A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row
stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this mister! I'm talking to that little schit on your knee."



21 ways to be a good democrat:

1). You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
funding.

2). You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders
how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3). You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
Chinese and North Korean communists.

4). You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5). You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV's.

6) You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.

7). You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand.

8). You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.

9). You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10).You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.

11). You have to believe that the military, not corrupt politicians start
wars.

12). You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution.

13). You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14). You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and
Thomas Edison.

15). You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set -asides are not.

16). You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice
person.

17). You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18). You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail,
but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19). You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and beastiality should be constitutionally protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal

20). You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21). You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing
conspiracy.

:rofl: :thumbs: good 1 Nitro! :)

[UZI]

LMAO
:rofl:
Good finds Nitro!

[CaptainKeyes]

LOLOL
and most, if not overblown...are so true.

[PimpDaddy]

hard to debate the truth ............

[Nitro]

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[UZI]

Pretty desparate move. Not too smart using a modern printer to try to forge a 1970's document. Then forging the ranking officers signature and dating it after he had already retired.

[CaptainKeyes]

Pretty desparate move. Not too smart using a modern printer to try to forge a 1970's document. Then forging the ranking officers signature and dating it after he had already retired.


funniest thing is, they deny the media is liberal with all their heart (and dan blabber, the guy who also named each troop who died in iraq a year after the war had begun claiming it had nothing to do with politics headed this fumble up as well)
they believe the forgery is part of a vast right wing conspiracy :eek: :p:

[CaptainKeyes]

edit: i said dan blabber did the naming of the troops thing. It was Ted Coppel.

[Caged Anger]

wow, how bout nobody votes for either one of them and we all write on the side that our vote is going to Arnold Swarzinagger. heck, even he would be better than either one of them jus because at least his movies are cool, lol

[Nitro]

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