Boudreaux Jokes

[FUS1ON]

Boudreaux and LSU Football

Years ago, when Boudreaux was a LSU college freshman, being
fresh off the farm, and a rather healthy young man, he figured he'd try out
for the Tiger football team.

"Can you tackle?" asked Coach Dietzel.

"Watch dis," Boudreaux told him, and proceeded to run smack
into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the LSU coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"

"Sure I can run," said Boudreaux. He was off like a shot, and,
in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.

"Great!" exclaimed the excited Coach Dietzel, "But can you pass
a football?"

Boudreaux rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds.
"Coach,"
he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."

Aaaiiiieeeee

[FUS1ON]

Boudreaux at the Zoo

The Louisiana Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of tropical
gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became irritable,
aggressive, and very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem: The
gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available
from any park/zoo nearby, and the busy spring season was already upon them.
Reflecting on the dillema, the park administrator thought of Boudreaux, a
Cajun intern at the zoo responsible for cleaning the animal's cages.
Boudreaux was a friendly man, possessed with ample ability to sweet-talk
and please a female of any species. The park administration thought they
might have a solution...
Would Boudreaux be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

He showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over
carefully.
The following day, Boudreaux announced that he would accept the offer,
but only under the following four conditions.

* "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips."
The park administrator gladly agreed.

* "Second," Boudreaux said, "you must never tell anyone about this."
Agreed.

* "Third," Boudreaux said, "I want all the offspring to be raised "Catlick". (a religion) Again, no problem.

* And last of all,

* "You've got to give me another week to come up with the $500.00."

[Thundarr]

OMG, bad... but funny!!:rofl:

[OUTLAWS Dixie Chick]

Keep em coming!!! :rofl:

[FUS1ON]

Boudreaux 911 Emergency

Boudreaux's wife, Marie passed away so Boudreaux called 911. The 911 operator told Boudreaux
that she would send someone out right away.

"Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Boudreaux replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

There was a long pause and finally Boudreaux said, "How 'bout if I drag her
over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"

[Black Rose]

ROFL :funny:

[OUTLAWS high ping camper]

Good ones Shogun, thanks. :thumbs:

[FUS1ON]

Boudreaux's Poetry Contest
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it.

The other finalist was a Cajun from LSU named Boudreaux.

The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu". The Duke graduate went first.

About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:

"Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination -- Timbuktu."

The audience went wild. How, they wondered, could Boudreaux top that?

The clock started again and Boudreaux sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped up and recited:

"Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu."

[NightBreed]

:funny: :woohoo:

[FUS1ON]

Boudreaux's boat motor

So, Boudreaux done bought himself one of dem bran' new boat motors. He calls his padnuh, Thibodeaux to go fishin' and dey bot' head out to de bayou with dat boat motor strapped to de pirogue.

So dey out dere in dey favorite spot when all of a sudden dat boat motor fall off de boat -- kaSPLASH!

Thibodeaux looks at Boudreaux and say, "Mah, Boudreaux, how we gonna get back? We didn't bring no paddles 'cause you got dat bran' new boat motor!"

Boudreaux say, "Thibodeaux, me, I'm gonna swam down dere and get dat boat motor." KaSPLASH! Boudreaux jump in de water.

So he's down dere, and he's down dere, and he's down dere some more. Thibodeaux gets worried an' looks over de side. Dere's Boudreaux at the bottom of the bayou with dat boat motor, yankin' de rope wit' all he's got.

Thibodeaux say, "Mah, coullion! Boudreaux, PULL DE CHOKE! PULL DE CHOKE!"

[Dan2]

Good ones!!:funny:

[OUTLAWS Spike]

:funny: :rofl: good ones bro :thumbs:

[FUS1ON]

COACH BOUDREAUX'S SLEEPOUT
The coaches in St. Landry parish went to a coaches retreat
and to save money they had to room together.
No one wanted to room with coach Boudreaux because he snores so bad.
They decide it's not fair to make one of dem stay wit him
the whole time so they vote to take turns.

Coach Fontenot sleepsin dat room wit him and he come to breakfast next morning hair a mess, eyes all blood shot.
They say, "Man, what happen to you?"
He say, "Man, that Boudreaux snore so loud,
I watch him all night."

Next night coach Guidrys turn.
In the morning, same thing - hair all standing up,
eyes all blood shot.
They say, "Man, what happened to you?
You look awful!"
He say, "Man, no, that Boudreaux shake the roof.
I watched him all night."

Third night, coach Doucet turn.
Next morning he come to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed.
"Good morning you all."
They can't believe! They say,
"Man, what happened?" He say, "Well, we get ready for bed.
I go and tuck Boudreaux into bed and kiss him good night.
He watch me all night long."

[Seriously Stoned]

:funny: :rofl: Man I miss dem Boudreaux jokes, great ones, Sho

[FUS1ON]

My cousins from Patterson got me started on them way back when and i've been collecting them ever since. :D

Thibideaux and de skunk

Thibideaux said to his buddy Boudreaux, "Boudreaux. Guess what? Cher,I done got me a pet." "Whatcha get?", axed Boudreaux. Thibideaux replied,"I was out in de field and I done found me a baby skunk. I'm keepin' him in de back yard in a cage." Boudreaux den axed,"What you gonna do when it gets cold? You can't leave dat baby skunk out in the yard in a cage durin' winter." Thibideaux said,"Cher I done got dat figured out...when it gets cold, I'm gonna bring him inside and put him in de bed between me and my ol' lady where its nice and warm." Boudreaux axed,"What de heck you gonna do about de smell?" Thibideaux said, "I guess dat skunk will have to get used to it."