Thundarr
04-27-2005, 02:09 AM
> An older couple decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor
> tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start
> writing things down to help them remember.
> Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his
> chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?"
> "To the kitchen" he replies.
> "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
> "Sure."
> "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she
> asks.
> "No, I can remember it."
> "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it
> down because you know you'll forget it."
> He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
> strawberries."
> "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd
> better write it down!" she retorts.
> Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
> Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got
> it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen.
> After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands
> his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
> She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast?
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
> "So I hear you're getting Married?"
> "Yep!"
> "Do I know her?"
> "Nope!"
> "This woman, is she good looking?"
> "Not really."
> "Is she a good cook?"
> "Naw, she can't cook too well."
> "Does she have lots of money?"
> "Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
> "Well then, is she good in bed?"
> "I don't know."
> "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
> "Because she can still drive!"
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Three old guys are out walking.
> First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
> Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
> Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It
> cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's
> perfect."
> "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
> "Twelve thirty."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
> A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
> gorgeous young woman on his arm.
> A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're
> really doing great, aren't you?"
> Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and
> be cheerful.'"
> The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart
> murmur. Be careful.'"
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled
> himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath
> he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
> " No," he replied, "arthritis.
>
> tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start
> writing things down to help them remember.
> Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his
> chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?"
> "To the kitchen" he replies.
> "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
> "Sure."
> "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she
> asks.
> "No, I can remember it."
> "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it
> down because you know you'll forget it."
> He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
> strawberries."
> "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd
> better write it down!" she retorts.
> Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
> Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got
> it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen.
> After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands
> his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
> She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast?
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
> "So I hear you're getting Married?"
> "Yep!"
> "Do I know her?"
> "Nope!"
> "This woman, is she good looking?"
> "Not really."
> "Is she a good cook?"
> "Naw, she can't cook too well."
> "Does she have lots of money?"
> "Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
> "Well then, is she good in bed?"
> "I don't know."
> "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
> "Because she can still drive!"
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Three old guys are out walking.
> First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
> Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
> Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It
> cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's
> perfect."
> "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
> "Twelve thirty."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
> A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
> gorgeous young woman on his arm.
> A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're
> really doing great, aren't you?"
> Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and
> be cheerful.'"
> The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart
> murmur. Be careful.'"
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled
> himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath
> he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
> " No," he replied, "arthritis.
>