Die Hard
01-06-2006, 01:04 PM
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
Q:What is the difference between a huband and a boyfriend?
A:About 45 minutes !!
What weighs eight pounds and won't be plucked next Christmas?
John Denver's Guitar.
What is the difference between a whore, a nimpho, and a blonde?
The whore says, "Aren't you done yet?" , The nimpho says, "Are you done ALREADY?" And the blonde says, "Beige. I think I'll paint the celling beige..."
What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1987 World Hide and Seek Champion.
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
why'd the monkey fall outta the tree?
'cause he was dead...
why'd the other monkey fall outta the tree?
'cause he was dead too...
why'd the third monkey fall outta the tree?
peer pressure...
What do Germans use for birth control?
Their personalities! (Sorry Rosie :D)
Why do mice have small balls?
Not that many know how to dance.
Why do elephants paint thier testicles red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A Monkey eating cherries.
How do you know an Elephant has been in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter....
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
Why do women get periods?
Because they deserve them.
Eve to Adam: 'What do you mean the kids don't look like you?'
This male prostitute contracted leprosy. He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.
A:About 45 pounds!!
Q:What is the difference between a huband and a boyfriend?
A:About 45 minutes !!
What weighs eight pounds and won't be plucked next Christmas?
John Denver's Guitar.
What is the difference between a whore, a nimpho, and a blonde?
The whore says, "Aren't you done yet?" , The nimpho says, "Are you done ALREADY?" And the blonde says, "Beige. I think I'll paint the celling beige..."
What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1987 World Hide and Seek Champion.
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
why'd the monkey fall outta the tree?
'cause he was dead...
why'd the other monkey fall outta the tree?
'cause he was dead too...
why'd the third monkey fall outta the tree?
peer pressure...
What do Germans use for birth control?
Their personalities! (Sorry Rosie :D)
Why do mice have small balls?
Not that many know how to dance.
Why do elephants paint thier testicles red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A Monkey eating cherries.
How do you know an Elephant has been in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter....
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
Why do women get periods?
Because they deserve them.
Eve to Adam: 'What do you mean the kids don't look like you?'
This male prostitute contracted leprosy. He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.