lollers

[JIMINATOR]

Marie's funeral is a sad one as she goes to join her departed husband. Standing near the casket, a mourner keeps repeating, "At last they're together. At last they're together."

A mourner whispers, "Why are you making such a tumult? She was a tramp even when Nick was alive. What's with this nonsense... at last they're together!"

The first mourner responds, "I'm talking about her LEGS! At last they're together!"

[JIMINATOR]

A redneck farmer and his daughter were coming back from town with their money from some sales and a large sack of flour when all of a sudden these highway men held them up and robbed them of everything.

A few minutes later the redneck farmer exclaims, "We're ruined, all the money's gone and there's no flour for bread!"

His daughter says, "No, papa, I hid the money in my you-know-what."

The redneck farmer said, "You're a good girl, but if your mamma was here -
she could have saved the sack of flour as well!"

[JIMINATOR]

A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.
"Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up," admits the surgeon. "I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis."

"What!" gasps the patient. "You mean I’ll never experience another erection?"

"Oh, you might," the surgeon reassures him. "Just not yours."

[JIMINATOR]

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
"Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office
and gave him the jar which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:
"Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but
nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing, then I tried with both
hands and still nothing. So, then I asked my wife for help.

She tried with her right hand, then her left and still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth
out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she
tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it
between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open."

[DiTomasso]

thank you :thumbs: :D

[krazy]

Nice Jim :thumbs: The redneck was the best IMO :D

[InsaniTy]

We want more :thumbs:

[He Is Legend]

I dont want more

[OUTLAWS high ping camper]

Thanks Jim. :thumbs:

[BobtheCkroach]

Fantastic! The jar one had me laughing like crazy!