OUTLAWS CHICO
01-27-2007, 07:28 PM
They're Back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or
were announced in
church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:
Searching for Jesus."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for
today has been canceled due to a
conflict.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone
who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much
about you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
they can get.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing:
"Break Forth Into Joy."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So
ends a friendship that began in their school days.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will
follow.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "W hat Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
you want remembered.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious hostility.
-------------------------------------------------
my fave:
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
- -- -- ----------------------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend
him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please us e the
back door.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
use large double door at the side entrance.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or
were announced in
church services:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:
Searching for Jesus."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for
today has been canceled due to a
conflict.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone
who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much
about you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
they can get.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing:
"Break Forth Into Joy."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So
ends a friendship that began in their school days.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will
follow.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "W hat Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
you want remembered.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious hostility.
-------------------------------------------------
my fave:
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
- -- -- ----------------------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend
him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please us e the
back door.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
use large double door at the side entrance.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"