BobtheCkroach
02-12-2007, 05:06 PM
An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through the minister's sermon, the old lady leaned over and said "I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"
Her husband replied, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid"
************************************************
Why did Adam and Eve have the perfect marriage?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
************************************************
A man woke up one morning to find his wife in a skimpy night gown, standing by the bed with a velvet rope in her hand. She purred "tie me up and do anything you like." So he did.
Then he went fishing.
************************************************
What do you call an evangelical church leader who uses speed?
A Crystal Methodist.
************************************************
A couple drove up to lover's lane one night and stopped the car. The girl sighed and said "Don't those crickets sound beautiful?"
Her boyfriend replied, "those aren't crickets, those're zippers"
************************************************
Two women walk into a bar and see a Scotsman in a kilt drinking alone. After a couple drinks, one woman goes up to him and says "I've always wondered what's worn beneath a kilt."
He replied, "Lass, there's nothing worn beneath my kilt. It's all in perfect working order."
:D:D:D
Her husband replied, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid"
************************************************
Why did Adam and Eve have the perfect marriage?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
************************************************
A man woke up one morning to find his wife in a skimpy night gown, standing by the bed with a velvet rope in her hand. She purred "tie me up and do anything you like." So he did.
Then he went fishing.
************************************************
What do you call an evangelical church leader who uses speed?
A Crystal Methodist.
************************************************
A couple drove up to lover's lane one night and stopped the car. The girl sighed and said "Don't those crickets sound beautiful?"
Her boyfriend replied, "those aren't crickets, those're zippers"
************************************************
Two women walk into a bar and see a Scotsman in a kilt drinking alone. After a couple drinks, one woman goes up to him and says "I've always wondered what's worn beneath a kilt."
He replied, "Lass, there's nothing worn beneath my kilt. It's all in perfect working order."
:D:D:D