BobtheCkroach
05-22-2007, 06:47 PM
Enjoy! Some real groaners here! :thumbs:
Have you heard about the new "Stealth" condom?
Now they'll never see you coming!
***
Why did the refs stop the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner!
***
What's the best thing about dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere!
***
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer and mop!
***
A guy walks into a bar. On the wall is a sign taht reads
Cheese Sandwich: $2.00
Handjob: $10.00
The guy looks at the gal behind the bar and says "Are you the lady that gives the handjobs?"
"I sure am, sugar," she says.
"Well, wash those hands and fix me a cheese sandwich!
***
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"
***
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
***
The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.
***
I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
***
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium
***
A guy says, "I'm so old that I forgot how old I am." An old woman says, "I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over." The man does this. The woman says, "You're seventy four." The man says, "How can you tell?" The woman says, "You told me yesterday."
***
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
***
Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"
Have you heard about the new "Stealth" condom?
Now they'll never see you coming!
***
Why did the refs stop the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner!
***
What's the best thing about dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere!
***
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer and mop!
***
A guy walks into a bar. On the wall is a sign taht reads
Cheese Sandwich: $2.00
Handjob: $10.00
The guy looks at the gal behind the bar and says "Are you the lady that gives the handjobs?"
"I sure am, sugar," she says.
"Well, wash those hands and fix me a cheese sandwich!
***
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"
***
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
***
The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.
***
I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
***
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium
***
A guy says, "I'm so old that I forgot how old I am." An old woman says, "I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over." The man does this. The woman says, "You're seventy four." The man says, "How can you tell?" The woman says, "You told me yesterday."
***
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
***
Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"