Hey DE

[OUTLAWS WHOCARES]

To answer your question that was in the other forum here it is. As honest as possible. This is all personal so take it for what it is.


I Love my GF a great deal. I would do anything to make her haoppy (crap I just bought her a pair of Prada shoes) For me I do not need to prove to the world how I feel about her by getting married. IMO it is nothing more than a piece of paper and a small tax break. She does want to get married and I am sure that eventually I will do it because that will make her happy. I am not avoiding it but more or less putting it off as long as possible. I do not need a piece of paper to say that I am commited to her. I hope this answered your first question if not I will gladly answer anything else that you may want to ask.

You also asked me why I don;'t want to have a child. I love kids. I think they are great in short doses. I just don't picture myself changing my life to raise a kid. I am very happy with my life at thiis moment and I have no desire to change it. My brothers and sisters have kids I take care of them. I am a godfather to two children which I watch every other weekend. I get to spoil them and give them back.

Me getting snipped was a decision I made when I was 21. I just finally found a DR. that I trust enough to do it. I explained to my GF when I met her that I did not want kids. She does not want any either.

DE I hope this answers your questions. If not please let me know.

[Death Engineer]

Sure thing. I was really just curious as I was essentially just the opposite. I knew at 21 that I wanted to be married and to have kids (loads of them!). ;)

Given what I have observed as a genuine interest in others kids, I was just surprised to hear that you weren't wanting to have your own. But hey, that's your choice.

Specifically on marriage, I think that's where we will have to agree to disagree. I agree that the piece of paper really doesn't mean much. But for me marriage is a covenant between me and God -- something that predates civilization, government, even sin (now that ought to bring some discussion out of the woodwork). ;)

For your snip job, we have a Dr. here in Austin named Dr. Chop that can do the job for ya (no joke!).

In all seriousness, thanks for giving an open/honest answer. It's always good to hear others opinions.

[OUTLAWS WHOCARES]

Anytime DE. I am sure I will buckle under pressure like most men.

[Mr Clean]

This touchy feely thread was brought to you by the makers of Wuss! beer. Just one sip of Wuss! and you, too, will turn into an unmanly quivering blob of estrogin.

Wuss! is available at your nearest nail salon or tanning bed establishment.

[Death Engineer]

(waits for the bolt of lightning to silence the bald critic...) ;)

Aren't you married Clean? That macho thing on the cleaner bottles is just a camera thing. I've heard you secretly enjoy washing dishes for your misses.

[Grimmy]

Ohhh I can sence that this is going to be a good thread to watch. Maybe I should sticky it :devil: :watchmovi

[rancid monkey]

Ohhh I can sence that this is going to be a good thread to watch. Maybe I should sticky it :devil: :watchmovi

*grabs chair and popcorn*

[Death Engineer]

Well since we have an audience, let's hear what other people think about marriage. Younger folks...are you planning on getting married? Some of you geezers like myself can chime in with your marital opines as well.

[OUTLAWS WHOCARES]

This touchy feely thread was brought to you by the makers of Wuss! beer. Just one sip of Wuss! and you, too, will turn into an unmanly quivering blob of estrogin.

Wuss! is available at your nearest nail salon or tanning bed establishment.


Where you can find its founder Mr. Clean.

[OUTLAWS high ping camper]

I was one of those "don't need the piece of paper" guys.......getting married brought us closer together........yeh, I know, it sounds corny as Hell. :)

[OUTLAWS WHOCARES]

I was one of those "don't need the piece of paper" guys.......getting married brought us closer together........yeh, I know, it sounds corny as Hell. :)


In what ways?

[OUTLAWS high ping camper]

In the sense that I started to look at things and how they would effect both of us rather than just myself.

[MORGANA]

I think mainly the men want is not bind, and the ground is they are scared about future, i mean to life with one person who is maybe not right,or they doubt in loyalty, or just simply for the "case" ever excuse "We are not anyway married" It always funny when i read " It is only on the paper, actually it is the same", but when this is the same...why they won't marry? lol

p.s. sry for my bad english i hope it is understandable

[Sexyjess]

maybe u will change your thoughts about haveing a baby later i mean i realy dont want kids now im only 22 years old soon 23 :P

getting married many people arent anymore they just live with each other,
i think u should do what makes u happy...but if ur gf wanna get married one day and u really love her why not? but to be honest my bf is the same hes saying he dont need a paper :P but i want the big cash wedding :D

[Pure_Evil]

marriage is a covenant between me and God

exactly, so why do you need a license to do it? How can a promise before God be broken by a judge? It's the ultimate hypocrisy.

GG to D.E. if it works for you 2.

Todays society doesn't support the concept of marriage, and without a future with kids, why do you need it?

I like the way you view it Who, but be careful with the whole "make her happy" happiness is a choice.

[BobtheCkroach]

In response to Pure: I don't know that the piece of paper from the court is what DE wants, the covenant with God is made with your pastor (from a christian point of view) present to go through everything with you - and the pastor, by law, cannot do that without the piece of paper. I'm terrible with verses and such, but I'm sure there are verses that describe marriage as being taken in the prescence of a church figure aka pastor.

In response to DE's query, I'm 24 and have planned and looked forward to marriage since I was young (or at least, since I out grew the "bachelor for life, girls suck" mentality :P ). I'm not a social type of person, so I waited til I found a good girl, and I married her. I've dated one girl, I've kissed one girl. I've loved one girl. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

I grew up in the same Christian setting as DE, so I won't deny that certainly had a role in why I felt it was important.
I feel the same way as HPC in that our union grew stronger after the vows. You can argue that it's "just a piece of paper", but I can definitely see changes post-marriage.

[Mr Clean]

Yes, DE, I am married and have two wonderful kids, and I would not have it any different. :thumbs:

[OUTLAWS WHOCARES]

Well It is now Monday and I feel like someone kicked me in the nuts. I am sore as shit. I gotta go back in a few week to fill a cup to make sure I am shooting blanks.

[Sepra]

Todays society doesn't support the concept of marriage, and without a future with kids, why do you need it?

I like the way you view it Who, but be careful with the whole "make her happy" happiness is a choice.

Since being married with three kids, I'm in favor of marriage and family, but Pure has a very valid point here.

If there is no future here to unify and grow a family together then is there really a reason that he should marry?

I'm not sure about the happiness is a choice statement though. That can be skewed in many ways. I do agree with the point that he's making though. If you are to marry, it should be because you are fully ready to and not because you are feeling weight on your shoulders about it and it'll make her really happy. Only you know what's right for YOU. Marriage is a two way commitment and if one party is not really enthusiastic about the idea then I feel that it would never be a good idea to follow through with it.

P.S. If you think you're in pain Who, when Jag got snipped he's got infected. :P

[Goober]

P.S. If you think you're in pain Who, when Jag got snipped he's got infected. :P

I remember when my dad got snipped, he laid in bed with an ice pack on his lap for a loooong time.

I've been married for 29 years now. There was no way we could have just lived together in those days. Her daddy would have showed up with his brother the preacher and a shotgun.

(The following statement is the opinion of the typer, It is not neccesarily correct in all instances. What may work for some folks won't work for me)
.
I think that without marriage folks have too easy of an access to the cut and run option. Marriage means commitment for the long run and you have to find ways to make it work. Without marriage you might not try as hard.

[OUTLAWS WHOCARES]

Ouch did they swell up like a freaking ballon. I have had an ice pack on my junk all day. The doc gave me some happy pills. I am walking around like a bow legged fool.

[Goober]

Ouch did they swell up like a freaking ballon. I have had an ice pack on my junk all day. The doc gave me some happy pills. I am walking around like a bow legged fool.

Yeah....his were swollen for a week. Doc said it was one of those 1 in a million things......not a happy man.

[MORGANA]

.
I think that without marriage folks have too easy of an access to the cut and run option. Marriage means commitment for the long run and you have to find ways to make it work. Without marriage you might not try as hard.

I agree with you, it is so true

[Death Engineer]

exactly, so why do you need a license to do it? How can a promise before God be broken by a judge? It's the ultimate hypocrisy.


I don't think you "need" a judge. But it is the legal "earthly" representation in what is otherwise a spiritual union IMHO.

Another thing people get confused about is that it's not a contract. A contract is where if party A does X, then party B will do Y. This is a covenant. It's a "no matter what" commitment between you and God (not your spouse). I am committed to love my spouse no matter what she does in return before God. and she has that same commitment.

Certainly not all weddings are this way, but I think that's the Biblical model.

Anyways...thanks to those that shared. ;)

<Flexes muscles for Mr Clean so he still knows I'm a man>

[Mr Clean]

You da man DE, you da man...