SALvation
03-02-2003, 12:13 AM
As you may know I put my house up for sale a few days ago. The following are the emails of one truly messed up person. All names have been blocked out any any personal information. All spelling and hilarity has been preserved. I'm posting these for your enjoyment:
--------EMAIL 1-------------
Can you give me a little more details on this property? What school
system is included. Can I have a pet over 89.5lbs?
I am recentely divorced, and would like to move as far away from my
current city of Westland as possible. Does this property have a security
gate to keep my unwanted guest out? Security of myself and my daughter
is of the top priority.
Please contact me soon because my current apartment lease is up in 2
weeks. I would like to move asap. Thank you for your time and help.
Much appreciated,
Name Protected
"May Peace and Happiness follow us all through God"
--------MY RESPONSE----------------
Hello,
You would have to get approval from the association
for your pet. They allow pets up to 25 lbs. but some
of our neighbors have labs which are pretty big. The
community doesn't have a gate but the condo has an
intercom system, private entry and attached garage. I
also installed storm doors on both the front entry and
garage so that would be another layer of security for
you and your daughter. Also, the fire and police dept
are within a couple of miles and a cop even lives in
the unit across the driveway.
If you like we are having an open house on Sunday from
1 - 6pm or if you want to see the place earlier any
weekday after 6pm would work for me. Immediate
occupancy is available so we would be able to
accomodate your time schedule. Also, the school
district is Utica schools.
Hope to hear from you soon,
-Dan
----------EMAIL 2----------------------------------
Thank you for replying so soone. I would like to setup a time when I
can come bye and look at the property. I have already been approved for
loan so we can make the purchase fairly quick. I apologize ahead of time if I
am not intelligent in buying homes. This is my first purchase since my
first husband did all the purchasing and then simply left before I knew what
to due. My second husband and I lived in an apartment. I dont want to
axe him how to buy a property cause he will then know I am moving out of the
apartment. You will need to help me.
My daughter will need her own room. Is this possible from you? Who do
I contact at your complex to axe about my animal? I would like to get
that answered before I come out to sees you.
Thanks you for helping find me a home. I really likes what you have to
offer and I can give anything you need from me to help the purchase go
faster.
Talk to you soon:
Name Protected
"May Peace and Happiness follow us all through God"
----------MY RESPONSE-------------------
Thanks for the reply. I'd be happy to help you as much
as I can during the buying process. We went through it
when we bought this place so I remember most of what
needs to be done. You'd probably be surprised how easy
it is.
Make sure that you have been pre-approved for a loan,
not just pre-qualified. Pre-approved means that the
bank is guaranteeing you the money if you want it but
pre-qualifying just means that the bank thinks you
could get the loan. Any bank should be able to
pre-approve you for free.
The condo has 2 bedrooms so your daughter would be
fine. If you look at the listing on
*website protected* you can see
additional photos of the place. There is a room with
light green colored walls and that is the second
bedroom. It is fairly big as I can fit 2 desks, a
chair, and my computer equipment and still have room
to move. The official footage is 12' x 10' of that
room.
You can contact the association at **********. They
will need to know the name of the subdivision and it
is "*************". I would just tell them
the breed of dog, and let them know it is
well-behaved. They are mostly concerned that its not
really loud or going to tear up the place.
Once you're all set let me know when you'd like to see
the place. After that, if you like what you see we can
go from there.
Thanks,
-Dan
------------EMAIL 3-----------------
Dan,
I just called your association and they said you do not live in that
condo complex. Are you lying to me about this listing? If so that is not
funny. I am a hurt woman by many men just looking for a place of my own. This
is very cruel to do to me. If this is not a true sale, just tell me so I
can look elsewhere. Thank you.
Name Protected
"God does not favor the cheaters and liars."
----------- MY RESPONSE------------
Hello,
I'm not sure who you talked to but I don't
understand why they would tell you that. I called the
association myself and asked them why they would tell you
that and they said that they don't tell anyone who lives
in the complex as it is confidential information. You
may want to call again and make sure you speak to a
representative of "**********" to
ask about your dog.
I paid quite a bit of money to advertise this condo
so I can guarantee you that this is a true sale.
My wife and I are buying a new house and that is why we
are selling our unit.
As I said before, we are having an open house
on Sunday so you can come by and take a look for
yourself at the place. Let me know if you have any
questions.
Thanks,
-Dan
------------EMAIL 4-------------
Sorry but that is what I was told by your complex. They said to me
that no information was available for you as a resident and nothing could be
given out. I axed them about my animal and said it is not ok to bring such a
pet. I will leave it with my aunt if need be.
What time is shoing of your condo on sundaey? I need to find a sitter
for my daughter so I can look. I have never bean to a condo shoing before
at a complesxx, do I have to bring anything with me? Are refreshments
provided?
I have bean to many open homes before and they had refreshments. I can
bring if you want. I just hope this condo is yours and you are not
trying to hurt people with scams. The police look unkindly to people who cheat.
Name Protected
"May God have mercy on us all and bring happiness to life"
--------- MY RESPONSE-------------
It was probably just a simple misunderstanding. They
can't give out information about who lives there
because its confidential. Now that I think about it,
that would be another good security feature for you
and your situation.
We'll have the open house on Sunday from 1:00pm -
6:00pm. We'll have coffee and cookies so you won't
need to bring anything. I'm not sure how apartment
showings work because I've never been to one but with
our open house, all it is is a chance for people to
walk through and get some more information about the
condo and ask us any questions they might have. Anyone
can walk in so there may be other people there too
looking but I will make sure to spend time with you
and answer any questions you have.
Our address is listed on the listing and you should be
able to get directions from www.mapquest.com. If you
have any trouble, just let me know and I can give you
exact directions.
I look forward to meeting you,
-Dan
--------EMAIL 5--------------
Ok that works for me. I suppose I can give you a chance, though you
don't deserves it. God has taught me to give all a chance no matter how
evil. I will try to bring by my animal also to see if she fits in the house. I
need to axe whos owns your complex to let me bring her in. I love her and I
need her at the house. I hope everything works out fine with her and you.
Sunday is a little tough for me since I have church for a most part of
the day. Can you open it Saturday night for me. I am available around 7
p. m. to 11 p. m. That is a perfect time for me and my family. Hopefully
you can work it out because I am exciteds to see the condo of your complex.
One last question. How much is the rent on the condo? I would like to
facter that in as well. Thank you Don, I am excited to meat you and
your wife.
Name Protected
"God embraces all her children with love and scorn"
-------- MY RESPONSE---------------
Hello,
We should be able to do Saturday night without a
problem. You can bring your animal by if you like, but
if the condo association said its too big, they have
the final say and it wouldn't be allowed if you lived
here. I just want to make sure you understand that.
Also, the condo is for sale, not rent. You would have
to get a mortgage from a bank. There is also a monthly
association fee of $$$/month. Your mortgage payment
would depend on how much money you put down but it
would probably be in the range of $$$$/month. That
would be in addition to your association payment so
the total would be roughly $$$$/month. But again, I
want to make sure that you understand you wouldn't be
renting it. You would need to be pre-approved for a
mortgage from the bank.
I just want to make sure you understand all of that
before you come by. Your animal wouldn't be able to
live here if they association says so and you would
need a mortgage. You may want to get preapproved so
you know for sure you can get the loan.
Thanks,
-Dan
--------EMAIL 6------------
I dont quiet understand your message. I thoughts that this property
was a purchase and a rent. I would like to do a purchase and rent too. That
is what your ad said to me. Nothing reachs out more to me then your ad
and how it told me that this was the write property for us.
Please verify from your association if this is true. I am already
tired of all these games. If you do not want to sell and rent the property I
will report you to your association and they will kick you out and good
reasons by me.
Think before you answer me cause I am tired of you and your way you
talk to me. If you want to do business talk to me and please dont axe anymore
silly questions.
I will try to come by this sundaey. I do want to bring my animal. He
is a good teller of character. If he runs to you and licks you, you are a
good person. If he runs to you and bites you, you are evil and not one to
do purchases from. Your shoing will tell me if this is the place to live.
I need a safe place and I hope you can help me.
I will hopefully see you on sundaey. Please have refreshments
available. Thanks you and thanks you for your time and effert.
Name Protected
"God strikes down all that are evil and sacriligous. This could be
you."
----------MY RESPONSE-------------------
It's obvious that you did not understand the ad. This
place is for purchase, not for rent. I'm sorry but
please do not bother showing up on Sunday. Your emails
have made us very uncomfortable and we don't want to
do business with you anymore.
Animals are not welcome at our open house either. We
will have other people here too and bringing your dog
would make everyone uncomfortable.
If you would like to talk the association you are more
than welcome to. They have an email address they could
give you and you could forward all these emails to
them.
Please do not email me anymore and do not bother
coming on Sunday as we will not do business with you.
I'm sorry but this is obviously a waste of both our
time.
Good luck in your search for a home and I hope you
find one in time.
-Dan
----------------------------------------------------------------------
--------EMAIL 1-------------
Can you give me a little more details on this property? What school
system is included. Can I have a pet over 89.5lbs?
I am recentely divorced, and would like to move as far away from my
current city of Westland as possible. Does this property have a security
gate to keep my unwanted guest out? Security of myself and my daughter
is of the top priority.
Please contact me soon because my current apartment lease is up in 2
weeks. I would like to move asap. Thank you for your time and help.
Much appreciated,
Name Protected
"May Peace and Happiness follow us all through God"
--------MY RESPONSE----------------
Hello,
You would have to get approval from the association
for your pet. They allow pets up to 25 lbs. but some
of our neighbors have labs which are pretty big. The
community doesn't have a gate but the condo has an
intercom system, private entry and attached garage. I
also installed storm doors on both the front entry and
garage so that would be another layer of security for
you and your daughter. Also, the fire and police dept
are within a couple of miles and a cop even lives in
the unit across the driveway.
If you like we are having an open house on Sunday from
1 - 6pm or if you want to see the place earlier any
weekday after 6pm would work for me. Immediate
occupancy is available so we would be able to
accomodate your time schedule. Also, the school
district is Utica schools.
Hope to hear from you soon,
-Dan
----------EMAIL 2----------------------------------
Thank you for replying so soone. I would like to setup a time when I
can come bye and look at the property. I have already been approved for
loan so we can make the purchase fairly quick. I apologize ahead of time if I
am not intelligent in buying homes. This is my first purchase since my
first husband did all the purchasing and then simply left before I knew what
to due. My second husband and I lived in an apartment. I dont want to
axe him how to buy a property cause he will then know I am moving out of the
apartment. You will need to help me.
My daughter will need her own room. Is this possible from you? Who do
I contact at your complex to axe about my animal? I would like to get
that answered before I come out to sees you.
Thanks you for helping find me a home. I really likes what you have to
offer and I can give anything you need from me to help the purchase go
faster.
Talk to you soon:
Name Protected
"May Peace and Happiness follow us all through God"
----------MY RESPONSE-------------------
Thanks for the reply. I'd be happy to help you as much
as I can during the buying process. We went through it
when we bought this place so I remember most of what
needs to be done. You'd probably be surprised how easy
it is.
Make sure that you have been pre-approved for a loan,
not just pre-qualified. Pre-approved means that the
bank is guaranteeing you the money if you want it but
pre-qualifying just means that the bank thinks you
could get the loan. Any bank should be able to
pre-approve you for free.
The condo has 2 bedrooms so your daughter would be
fine. If you look at the listing on
*website protected* you can see
additional photos of the place. There is a room with
light green colored walls and that is the second
bedroom. It is fairly big as I can fit 2 desks, a
chair, and my computer equipment and still have room
to move. The official footage is 12' x 10' of that
room.
You can contact the association at **********. They
will need to know the name of the subdivision and it
is "*************". I would just tell them
the breed of dog, and let them know it is
well-behaved. They are mostly concerned that its not
really loud or going to tear up the place.
Once you're all set let me know when you'd like to see
the place. After that, if you like what you see we can
go from there.
Thanks,
-Dan
------------EMAIL 3-----------------
Dan,
I just called your association and they said you do not live in that
condo complex. Are you lying to me about this listing? If so that is not
funny. I am a hurt woman by many men just looking for a place of my own. This
is very cruel to do to me. If this is not a true sale, just tell me so I
can look elsewhere. Thank you.
Name Protected
"God does not favor the cheaters and liars."
----------- MY RESPONSE------------
Hello,
I'm not sure who you talked to but I don't
understand why they would tell you that. I called the
association myself and asked them why they would tell you
that and they said that they don't tell anyone who lives
in the complex as it is confidential information. You
may want to call again and make sure you speak to a
representative of "**********" to
ask about your dog.
I paid quite a bit of money to advertise this condo
so I can guarantee you that this is a true sale.
My wife and I are buying a new house and that is why we
are selling our unit.
As I said before, we are having an open house
on Sunday so you can come by and take a look for
yourself at the place. Let me know if you have any
questions.
Thanks,
-Dan
------------EMAIL 4-------------
Sorry but that is what I was told by your complex. They said to me
that no information was available for you as a resident and nothing could be
given out. I axed them about my animal and said it is not ok to bring such a
pet. I will leave it with my aunt if need be.
What time is shoing of your condo on sundaey? I need to find a sitter
for my daughter so I can look. I have never bean to a condo shoing before
at a complesxx, do I have to bring anything with me? Are refreshments
provided?
I have bean to many open homes before and they had refreshments. I can
bring if you want. I just hope this condo is yours and you are not
trying to hurt people with scams. The police look unkindly to people who cheat.
Name Protected
"May God have mercy on us all and bring happiness to life"
--------- MY RESPONSE-------------
It was probably just a simple misunderstanding. They
can't give out information about who lives there
because its confidential. Now that I think about it,
that would be another good security feature for you
and your situation.
We'll have the open house on Sunday from 1:00pm -
6:00pm. We'll have coffee and cookies so you won't
need to bring anything. I'm not sure how apartment
showings work because I've never been to one but with
our open house, all it is is a chance for people to
walk through and get some more information about the
condo and ask us any questions they might have. Anyone
can walk in so there may be other people there too
looking but I will make sure to spend time with you
and answer any questions you have.
Our address is listed on the listing and you should be
able to get directions from www.mapquest.com. If you
have any trouble, just let me know and I can give you
exact directions.
I look forward to meeting you,
-Dan
--------EMAIL 5--------------
Ok that works for me. I suppose I can give you a chance, though you
don't deserves it. God has taught me to give all a chance no matter how
evil. I will try to bring by my animal also to see if she fits in the house. I
need to axe whos owns your complex to let me bring her in. I love her and I
need her at the house. I hope everything works out fine with her and you.
Sunday is a little tough for me since I have church for a most part of
the day. Can you open it Saturday night for me. I am available around 7
p. m. to 11 p. m. That is a perfect time for me and my family. Hopefully
you can work it out because I am exciteds to see the condo of your complex.
One last question. How much is the rent on the condo? I would like to
facter that in as well. Thank you Don, I am excited to meat you and
your wife.
Name Protected
"God embraces all her children with love and scorn"
-------- MY RESPONSE---------------
Hello,
We should be able to do Saturday night without a
problem. You can bring your animal by if you like, but
if the condo association said its too big, they have
the final say and it wouldn't be allowed if you lived
here. I just want to make sure you understand that.
Also, the condo is for sale, not rent. You would have
to get a mortgage from a bank. There is also a monthly
association fee of $$$/month. Your mortgage payment
would depend on how much money you put down but it
would probably be in the range of $$$$/month. That
would be in addition to your association payment so
the total would be roughly $$$$/month. But again, I
want to make sure that you understand you wouldn't be
renting it. You would need to be pre-approved for a
mortgage from the bank.
I just want to make sure you understand all of that
before you come by. Your animal wouldn't be able to
live here if they association says so and you would
need a mortgage. You may want to get preapproved so
you know for sure you can get the loan.
Thanks,
-Dan
--------EMAIL 6------------
I dont quiet understand your message. I thoughts that this property
was a purchase and a rent. I would like to do a purchase and rent too. That
is what your ad said to me. Nothing reachs out more to me then your ad
and how it told me that this was the write property for us.
Please verify from your association if this is true. I am already
tired of all these games. If you do not want to sell and rent the property I
will report you to your association and they will kick you out and good
reasons by me.
Think before you answer me cause I am tired of you and your way you
talk to me. If you want to do business talk to me and please dont axe anymore
silly questions.
I will try to come by this sundaey. I do want to bring my animal. He
is a good teller of character. If he runs to you and licks you, you are a
good person. If he runs to you and bites you, you are evil and not one to
do purchases from. Your shoing will tell me if this is the place to live.
I need a safe place and I hope you can help me.
I will hopefully see you on sundaey. Please have refreshments
available. Thanks you and thanks you for your time and effert.
Name Protected
"God strikes down all that are evil and sacriligous. This could be
you."
----------MY RESPONSE-------------------
It's obvious that you did not understand the ad. This
place is for purchase, not for rent. I'm sorry but
please do not bother showing up on Sunday. Your emails
have made us very uncomfortable and we don't want to
do business with you anymore.
Animals are not welcome at our open house either. We
will have other people here too and bringing your dog
would make everyone uncomfortable.
If you would like to talk the association you are more
than welcome to. They have an email address they could
give you and you could forward all these emails to
them.
Please do not email me anymore and do not bother
coming on Sunday as we will not do business with you.
I'm sorry but this is obviously a waste of both our
time.
Good luck in your search for a home and I hope you
find one in time.
-Dan
----------------------------------------------------------------------