So you're thinking about getting married!

[Pure_Evil]

I saw the headline and just had to read it! linky (http://www.cnn.com/2003/HEALTH/03/17/marriage.poll.reut/index.html)

I'd comment but my wife may be registered in here :unsure:

[Thundarr]

I fully agree with this article! I am not married yet and am in no hurry and I don't believe that the wedding will turn me into any more a happy person than I am already. I don't think one should rely on someone else to make them happy. If you aren't at least somewhat happy to begin with, no one person or event is going to magically transform you into a "Shiny Happy Person!" :happy:

[Pure_Evil]

Originally posted by Thundarr@Mar 17 2003, 12:45 PM
I fully agree with this article! I am not married yet and am in no hurry and I don't believe that the wedding will turn me into any more a happy person than I am already. I don't think one should rely on someone else to make them happy. If you aren't at least somewhat happy to begin with, no one person or event is going to magically transform you into a "Shiny Happy Person!" :happy:
Very well said T!

I always tell people that marriage doesn't make your life better, only different.

I will honestly say that statement you made,"I don't think one should rely on someone else to make them happy" happenes in my home. My wife sees how busy I am and how she is not and often complains that we don't do enough together. When I ask her what would she like to do, I get "I don't know" as a response. Very frustrating! Often I feel that she blames me for not being happy and being bored. Sometimes i want to shout that it is not my job to make you happy, but I know it will do more harm then good.

[Thundarr]

Originally posted by OUTLAWS Terminathare@Mar 17 2003, 06:03 PM
I can't imagine not having my boys :unsure:

I don't agree with the article, but I guess there is an exception to every study :cool:
Having children is a whole 'nother ball game, not always tied into being married... I am sure that when and if I have children, I will be happy beyond belief! But I will make it clear to my children, that it's not their goal in life to make me happy. When they do make me happy, that is just going to be a bonus... That's how my mother raised me and I turned out pretty well! :thumbs:

[Thundarr]

Originally posted by Pure_Evil+Mar 17 2003, 06:10 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Pure_Evil @ Mar 17 2003, 06:10 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Thundarr@Mar 17 2003, 12:45 PM
I fully agree with this article&#33;&nbsp; I am not married yet and am in no hurry and I don&#39;t believe that the wedding will turn me into any more a happy person than I am already.&nbsp; I don&#39;t think one should rely on someone else to make them happy. If you aren&#39;t at least somewhat happy to begin with, no one person or event is going to magically transform you into a "Shiny Happy Person&#33;" :happy:
Very well said T&#33;

I always tell people that marriage doesn&#39;t make your life better, only different.

I will honestly say that statement you made,"I don&#39;t think one should rely on someone else to make them happy" happenes in my home. My wife sees how busy I am and how she is not and often complains that we don&#39;t do enough together. When I ask her what would she like to do, I get "I don&#39;t know" as a response. Very frustrating&#33; Often I feel that she blames me for not being happy and being bored. Sometimes i want to shout that it is not my job to make you happy, but I know it will do more harm then good. [/b][/quote]
I am very familiar with that scenario&#33;&#33; That has killed many a relationship for me&#33; And I wholeheartedly agree that saying something like you mentioned will do more harm that good... I takes a special kind of person to be able to take constructive criticism and those people are hard to come by... :bandhead:

[Pure_Evil]

It&#39;s too bad she can&#39;t see the glass as half full, we have a preaty good life but I think she wants the Waltons, and that&#39;s not going to happen.

[Thundarr]

I&#39;m sorry to hear that&#33; Waltons to me = BORING, but I know I am not speaking for everyone, it&#39;s only my opinion... I enjoy having time to myself and my own things to do on occasion... I would strangle my man (and vice versa) if we spent every waking minute together, even just the ones outside of work... No lie&#33;&#33; But that doesn&#39;t mean I don&#39;t love him or that I love him less. wub

[Fantum309]

I was married twenty years, raised two children, and I was happy. The wife (or ex-wife now) hit 40 and felt like she had been missing out on something, so we parted. We get along okay now, but the damage has been done and it&#39;s all water under the bridge. Before the split, she acted as if it were my responsibility to make her happy. She even told me this&#33; It was very stressful and did a lot of damage&#33; I will NEVER allow myself to be responsible for someone else&#39;s happiness&#33; We are each responsible for our own and if we cannot find happiness within ourselves, then whomever we get attached to will be burdened&#33;

I will never get remarried until they take divorce out of the courts&#33; You go to church to get married but court to divorce. No more contracts for me&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;

[Pure_Evil]

It seams that vows are not taken seriously these days. We have a freind who&#39;s getting divorced and my wife asked my opinion on the divorce and I went on a long tirade on vows and responsibilities.

I will not allow my wife to force me into making a prodject out of our marriage.

[Fantum309]

Originally posted by OUTLAWS Terminathare@Mar 17 2003, 03:04 PM
Yikes...my wife turns forty in 2 weeks :blink:
:WTF: Get ready for the rollercoaster ride&#33; :rofl: and Sincerely, I wish everyone much luck and happiness in marriage. I thought mine was outstanding until the last year or so&#33; Just don&#39;t let the marriage take on a life of it&#39;s own. :wacko:

[Thundarr]

Originally posted by Fantum309+Mar 17 2003, 08:15 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Fantum309 @ Mar 17 2003, 08:15 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--OUTLAWS Terminathare@Mar 17 2003, 03:04 PM
Yikes...my wife turns forty in 2 weeks :blink:
:WTF: Get ready for the rollercoaster ride&#33; :rofl: and Sincerely, I wish everyone much luck and happiness in marriage. I thought mine was outstanding until the last year or so&#33; Just don&#39;t let the marriage take on a life of it&#39;s own. :wacko: [/b][/quote]
Pure&#39;s right, people don&#39;t seem to take the vows as seriously as people did in the past... It&#39;s almost too easy to get divorced. :unsure: I mean physically easy, not mentally or emotionally by any means&#33;&#33; My mom&#39;s been through it three times (hence, so have I)... I wonder if there is something chemical that happens to a woman at 40 (early menopause perhaps) That&#39;s what happened to my mom... Not to excuse the behavior, Fantum, but I have heard of your situation happening more than once... :hmmm: I still have a few years, cross your fingers for my boyfriend... :w00t:

[Fantum309]

Originally posted by Thundarr+Mar 17 2003, 05:13 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Thundarr @ Mar 17 2003, 05:13 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Originally posted by -Fantum309@Mar 17 2003, 08:15 PM
<!--QuoteBegin--OUTLAWS Terminathare@Mar 17 2003, 03:04 PM
Yikes...my wife turns forty in 2 weeks :blink:
:WTF: Get ready for the rollercoaster ride&#33; :rofl: and Sincerely, I wish everyone much luck and happiness in marriage. I thought mine was outstanding until the last year or so&#33; Just don&#39;t let the marriage take on a life of it&#39;s own. :wacko:
Pure&#39;s right, people don&#39;t seem to take the vows as seriously as people did in the past... It&#39;s almost too easy to get divorced. :unsure: I mean physically easy, not mentally or emotionally by any means&#33;&#33; My mom&#39;s been through it three times (hence, so have I)... I wonder if there is something chemical that happens to a woman at 40 (early menopause perhaps) That&#39;s what happened to my mom... Not to excuse the behavior, Fantum, but I have heard of your situation happening more than once... :hmmm: I still have a few years, cross your fingers for my boyfriend... :w00t: [/b][/quote]
Thundarr, I think if you are aware of it and be as prepared for what may happen when you hit your 40&#39;s, then I don&#39;t think you or your better half will suffer much&#33; I have always wondered if I was going to hit midlife and want to relive my youth. Hasn&#39;t happened yet&#33; What you need more than anything is someone who will commit themselves to you and only you. I bet that will make you happy&#33; If he don&#39;t commit then I can guarentee, your partner will make you very unhappy, and that he WILL be responsible for. :mad:

[FASTway]

Originally posted by Thundarr@Mar 17 2003, 09:45 AM
I fully agree with this article&#33; I am not married yet and am in no hurry and I don&#39;t believe that the wedding will turn me into any more a happy person than I am already. I don&#39;t think one should rely on someone else to make them happy. If you aren&#39;t at least somewhat happy to begin with, no one person or event is going to magically transform you into a "Shiny Happy Person&#33;" :happy:
OMG, you are incredibly wise. :thumbs:

[Fantum309]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Yep, that&#39;s what it&#39;s like&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33; :rofl: :rofl:

[Sirc]

Originally posted by OUTLAWS Terminathare@Mar 17 2003, 11:58 PM
Thought this was appropriate:


A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly-he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 2:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman, saying, "Ma&#39;am, I&#39;m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I&#39;m awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let&#39;s pretend that we&#39;re married." "Wow&#33; That&#39;s a great idea&#33;&#33;" he exclaims. "Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket."
:lol:

No wait.... :bawling:

[Thundarr]

Originally posted by FASTway+Mar 18 2003, 12:43 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (FASTway @ Mar 18 2003, 12:43 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Thundarr@Mar 17 2003, 09:45 AM
I fully agree with this article&#33;&nbsp; I am not married yet and am in no hurry and I don&#39;t believe that the wedding will turn me into any more a happy person than I am already.&nbsp; I don&#39;t think one should rely on someone else to make them happy. If you aren&#39;t at least somewhat happy to begin with, no one person or event is going to magically transform you into a "Shiny Happy Person&#33;" :happy:
OMG, you are incredibly wise. :thumbs: [/b][/quote]
Thanks, that is much appreciated&#33;&#33; I have been thru a lot in my mere 31 years and so I have decided many things about how I want my life to be.. :cool:

[Aries]

Originally posted by FASTway+Mar 18 2003, 12:43 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (FASTway @ Mar 18 2003, 12:43 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Thundarr@Mar 17 2003, 09:45 AM
I fully agree with this article&#33;&nbsp; I am not married yet and am in no hurry and I don&#39;t believe that the wedding will turn me into any more a happy person than I am already.&nbsp; I don&#39;t think one should rely on someone else to make them happy. If you aren&#39;t at least somewhat happy to begin with, no one person or event is going to magically transform you into a "Shiny Happy Person&#33;" :happy:
OMG, you are incredibly wise. :thumbs: [/b][/quote]
FASTway took the words out of my mouth...

words which I can&#39;t utter because I&#39;m speechless...





I still have so many things to learn...